I know what it’s like standing in a room packed with people that you have NEVER seen before. You immediately freeze up; your palms get sweaty, and your brain starts looping. This is what being nervous resembles… You are nervous because you are shy, and you are shy because you are lacking confidence! Let’s explore some reasons as to why you are shy, and how you can become more confident! Shyness (or being shy) is defined as quote Google, “being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people.” Now, let’s break this down into some terminology that is easily comprehensible: Being shy simply means that you get a little nervous around new people. Certain individuals also suffer from anxiety, which is defined as being worried about future events. An example that ties into all three of these interconnected characteristics is stage fright; this doesn’t have to necessarily be the fear of taking and performing on stage. This classifies as day to day presentations, and even putting your hand up to answer a question in class, meetings, and even seminars. It is the fear that is pushed on your back when everyone’s attention is diverted to YOU. Once again, this ties back to being nervous around people that you don’t know. As Stefan from Project Life Mastery covers briefly in his video on how to overcome anxiety, fear and being self-concious may cause you to be shy, limiting one’s comfort zone. Though comfort zones can leave you feeling left out in certain situations, they do heavily contribute to your safety and reassurance, but only in your mind. Stefan touches on the fact that he was a shy child; he would sit in his room all alone, investing his valuable time in playing video games because his fear of interaction held him back. Today, he has overcome that fear by putting his personal feelings and psychological setbacks aside, and simply putting himself out there in this immense world. I fully agree that it is tough to take a step in a direction that you may not be familiar or comfortable with, but once you take it, you simply keep going. Even a simple “hello” to someone on the street, or starting small talk with a classmate that you have never spoken with. This will not only contribute to your overcoming, but also to others that may be in the same boat as you. I recently attended a youth council meeting for my school district, at which several students from schools all across the district were present. Being new to the council and one of the youngest students there, I was, to an extent, freaking out! Not literally, but I did keep myself very reserved and I felt that I did not contribute to the discussion as much I would have liked to. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the ideas circling through my brain, but I was deficient in the lack of my confidence and courage that was needed to raise my hand and speak my mind with the spotlight on me. Over the years, I have become less and less shy, as my pursuits do not allow me to stay under the radar and get away without contribution; therefore, I had to push through the sweat,the “ums” and “ahs,” and simply give myself power. Every time I spoke in front of people, I got better and better. From simple class presentations, to district speech competitions, to council meetings, and even speaking to people at a national level - I have been in a great deal of situations. This does not mean that I am an expert and that I am not shy at all; I still go through the common anxiety before speaking, but from all the practice, once I get up there and utter my first few words, I feel the confidence that I never thought I would - and all it took was one step in that forbidden direction. That forbidden step is one that is discussed by Lori Deschene from the Tiny Buddha in 8 ways to be more confident ; if the effort is not made, you will not see results. You can stay the way you are, afraid of failure and embarrassment, or you can defy all odds, and strive to the other side of the spectrum. It may be a rocky road, but how else are you supposed to learn and gain experience? Confidence isn’t something will come to you instantly; you have to work for it and dedicate yourself. It all depends on your drive and willingness to achieve success. Now get up: Think of the future, your dreams, goals, and aspirations. What do you want most? Take for instance Darren Hardy, who in his video The 3x Philosophy, mentors viewers to take their goals and multiply them by three. He essentially wants individuals to think BIG, because the most difficult component of all this is taking that first initial step - after that, it’s a piece of cake to continue because you will already be on the road to success. It’s all about putting yourself out there… Are you willing to sacrifice a little? If yes, your confidence will come naturally! Janeva S
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