As someone who spends 90% of his time with some sort of music in his environment, it is safe to say I am well acquainted with the various reactions the human body can have to different music. You could say that all music does the same, but when you hear a violin playing in real time the hair on your neck stands up and you can just feel the music so deeply. In the last year I have come to realize that music is much more than just something we listen to or sing along to. Music is emotional and powerful, it can be the biggest, loudest, most gut-wrenching sound you’ve ever heard. or it could be the smallest, quietest, whisper, that only some can hear. Though to most music is a simple thing we enjoy, it can be so much more than that. Research has shown that listening to music can reduce anxiety, blood pressure, and pain as well as improve sleep, mood, and memory. Different receptors in our brain act differently as we listen to music: The Nucleus Accumbens which is partly responsible for the release of ‘happy chemicals’ releases dopamine when you’re listening to music, the Temporal Lobe is responsible for processing what we hear–without your temporal lobe you wouldn’t enjoy music, you’d just listen without any feeling. Other parts of the brain like the Amygdala connect us to music emotionally, this is why one could get emotional listening to certain music. The Amygdala works alongside the Hippocampus–the memory retriever–to connect certain songs or sounds to a part of your past, but what do all these fancy things have in common? All of these come together to create the experience that really is music, which is now being studied as a possible form of therapy. Music therapy has been proven to reduce anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses, as well as help Dementia or Alzheimer's patients recover parts of their memory: All by listening to music that we connect to. Personally, music has been a way for me to just fade into my own little reality, and find a little distraction for anything that may be bothering me at the time. I’ve used it to keep myself calm and relaxed, to focus, and to improve my mood and mental state. Music is easily available to all of us, so take advantage of that. Music has helped me through various big moments in my life: a breakup, moving across a continent, bad days, and simpler everyday things: studying for that big test, walking home, while at work. Music has the power to not only connect us to ourselves, but to bring people closer. Anytime you listen to music from now on, I encourage you to think about how that music makes you feel. Are you happy? Does this remind you of something? Someone? Text that person a lyric from the song and tell them you miss them, show your friend a song you think they’ll like, and most importantly, notice how lyrics, and songs can always connect to us.
Mateo M
16 Comments
From August to December of 2023, every Sunday I would volunteer my time at a senior home for around 2 hours. And to be completely candid, this is something I would have never done on my own free will. This sounds terrible but I only started volunteering because it would make my BCIT application more competitive when it came time to apply. I knew I was going to learn a few things here and there from this experience but I would've never guessed just how much I was actually going to gain. Not only did I personally develop, but I did so while giving back to the community. My favourite part of volunteering was spending one-on-one time with the residents. Hearing their stories - which was always filled with wisdom and experience - helped shift my perspective on life. They would share stories of how they majorly screwed up back in their days but 99% of the time, they would conclude their tale with it never mattering in the end. With that in mind, I stopped caring so much about things. Of course, I was still responsible but for little things like other people’s opinions of me or embarrassing moments that happened in the past, I reduced the amount of thought I put into those types of things. And because of this, I feel less anxious and more mentally energetic because a big part of my brain isn't occupied on small things like that anymore. My main task every Sunday, though, was to help residents move to the music room where they enjoyed music with Shawn, who performed every week. Shawn would play music from the 50s and 60s because that's what the residents recognize. Music from those time frames meant a lot to them and hearing it brings them back fond memories. And I am a big fan of music, I absolutely love it, like I can’t go a day without listening to it but I’m not a fan of older music. I do like a couple of classic tunes here and there but overall, I’m just not a big fan of music from that time period. But included in my volunteer was to sit and enjoy the music with the residents. At first, I kept a closed mind and kept convincing myself it was boring because I’m not used to that type of music. But I told myself that this is something I’m going to have to experience every week for the next few months, I should start being more open minded about it. As the weeks went on, I found myself starting enjoying the songs and would even look forward to Shawn singing specific ones. In the end, I’m glad I kept an open mind because it made volunteering more enjoyable. I see myself using this skill a lot in the future and I truly believe that it could not only help me become a better person but also improve the way I live my life. In conclusion, I’m proud of myself for doing something so out of my comfort zone and I’m glad I did because not only was it personally fulfilling but I was also able to positively impact the residents at Augustine House. I really encourage anyone who has extra time to volunteer. It’s extremely satisfying to know that you’re giving back to the community and while also gaining something beneficial at the same time. And the secret is; to maintain an open mind and positive attitude because doing so will make the experience 10x more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Rosetta C When I was young I had a pretty bad experience in my early elementary years. First day of Kindergarten I made my first friend at school, and that’s the beginning of everything, my earliest memories of school. She was a girl in my class, who would severely bully me. She wouldn’t let me speak to other people and if I did she would scream and swear in my face. She would say really terrible things about my family that I probably should not repeat, my mom even called her a stalker. It got so bad to the point where at the age of 8 I would have panic attacks every morning before school. Back then I was really young and I didn’t know how to stand up for myself so I would just let it happen. This went on for 5 years (K-5). After that experience I had not really had a bad friend until grade 10, I became friends with this one boy, I am just going to call him Carter. Carter and I became close very quickly to the point that we would talk everyday, all day and he knew every little detail about me. He was my biggest supporter especially when I went through my first heartbreak, he always managed to cheer me up and boost my confidence. He was always there for me to talk about anything. It honestly was great for a while, I even became close with his other friends and he became close with some of mine and we were a big friend group. We all went out together many times to different places, hung out at eachothers houses and it was super fun honestly. Unfortunately that didn’t last for long, Carter started to change. His ego grew very large to the point it was insufferable to be around. He also started to put us girls down so much and so often, for example “as a joke” he would literally tell me to kill myself so frequent that it would make me cry every night. He would make comments on my appearance, my interests, my personality. It was quite damaging to my self esteem, especially for a friend to say that everyday. He overall just acted like him and the other boys were just more important and above us girls and it really pissed me off. The other boys too would just sit there and do nothing to help us. They knew what was going on but they would just support Carter. When I started dating my boyfriend, I was still friends with them and they genuinely bullied him, calling him physically abusive to his face (which was a lie they literally just made up), making fun of the way he looks, calling him mean nicknames. To the point it made me so angry I hung out with them less, it mainly really was just Carter that was the meanest but they all supported him as usual. They all just worshiped him like he was this god or something and then all the boys just ghosted all the girls. I must say I do miss Carter from time to time but without him in my life it was as if this huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Soon after that they found some new editions to their friend group and what other people would tell me is that they told their new friends that we girls did something so unforgivable and so awful to the point that they couldn’t be around us anymore. The thing is though, he never said why, never said what we allegedly did. Those boys are still friends currently, they will laugh at me on the bus, give me death stares in the halls, two of them even sent me a lovely candy cane gram saying “I miss you” on it:) and they all just refuse to talk to make amends, it's just silence. The worst thing though, one of the boys did something so gross and everyone knew it was wrong and they still supported him, said gross things about women in support of him and just made me lose any tiny amount of respect I had left. To some, this may all just be petty drama, which it is but honestly it has taught me so much about the kind of people I choose to be around, before I would let people walk all over me and I would give chance after chance until it would completely drain me. Even if you have been friends with someone for a while isn’t a good enough reason to stay their friend if they treat you badly. No one deserves to be treated badly by a friend or a significant other especially if all you did was care for them. I have learned from my mistakes and I hope in the future I will not encounter something like that again.
Sarah.S How important is traveling really in our lives? And what benefits do we get from it? We all dream of seeing the entire world and visiting as many places and getting to know cultures as we can, right? Traveling gets associated with trying new things, exploring foreign countries and also finding out new things about ourselves. It doesn’t matter if it means to hop on an airplane and fly away or to get in the car and drive to a place which is nearby. Both mean that we made the decision to step out of our comfort zone, the environment which we are familiar with, and to give ourselves a chance to experience something new. It is proven that traveling affects our mental health in a positive way. Being home is not a bad thing but it also means either working or going to school or both, which causes a lot of stress for many of us and we don’t really have time to rest. That is excactly why traveling is so important. It gives us the opportunity to forget a lot of things that are going on and the chance to take a break from our daily lives.We all have different preferences and imaginations about what a perfect vacation may look like. Whether it’s a beach vacation, a nature hike or a city tour, there are many ways to recharge our “batteries” and just chill. Another important benefit is as I mentioned before, we encourage ourselves to leave our comfort zone and jump into something completely new. Traveling can promote our personal development as a human being, by facing new challenges and getting involved in unfamiliar situations. A very few countries don’t have sufficient English language skills, which makes it hard to communicate with those people, even if it’s just asking for directions or whatever. We also might be not familiar with the unknown food which can lead to stomach problems. But all these things help us to improve and develop as a person, by facing and solving challenges. Traveling also gives us an opportunity to make friends all over the world. By getting together with other travelers or locals we are able to build new friendships and strengthen our own communication skills. It can help to deepen our understanding of other cultures and lifestyles and by visiting different places and interacting with the people there, we can expand our perspectives or get to know new ones. A lot of people argue that traveling is expensive but that really depends how we are planning to travel. There are many options, like staying in a cheaper hotel, avoiding the peak season and places that are very touristy and the goal is to make it as easy as possible. I have some friends that did interrail in europe after their graduation and traveling by train is in comparison to a plane super cheap. All I want to say with that is, yes traveling can be really expensive but it’s really up to us and how we want to experience and organize our trip. Traveling is a huge and very important part of my life. As long as I can remember my parents showed me a lot of different places in the world. For me it means spending time with my family and friends, meeting new people, trying new food and it's a great opportunity to just take a break from my daily routine and my usual environment. I associate traveling with going skiing in Austria, visiting different countries in Europe which are fortunately all very close to me or flying to other continents. I went to Thailand two years ago which was the furthest I’ve ever been away from home but it was unbelievable. Also being here in Canada right now was a big step but I’m so grateful that my parents gave me the opportunity to be here and I would definitely recommend to everyone to go abroad at some point in their lives. We all should be thankful to have opportunities to travel and see new things and even though it is nice being far away from home it is often a good feeling when we know we are actually home again if that makes sense. To end this thing I found a quote which basically summarizes this entire blog.
“Traveling takes us back to ourselves” Merle Success, to me, has always been akin to an achievement earned through perseverance and resilience. While the path toward the goal is often challenging, the gratifying sense of accomplishment makes every effort worthwhile. Key steps toward success include meticulous planning, diligent execution, and the ability to navigate through unexpected obstacles. Growing up in an academic household as an international student, I harboured a dream of attending a prestigious university. Despite encountering significant setbacks, such as the upheaval caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, changes in school systems and mandatory graduate courses, and enduring serious injuries, I remained steadfast in my pursuit. One notable setback occurred in grade 10 when I sustained a severe second/third degree burn, which drastically limited my physical abilities. Despite the series of hospital visits and sleepless nights due to excruciating pain, I managed to maintain my academic performance. During my struggle with depression and self-isolation from friends, I was allowed to go to a concert. For the first time since the injury, I was able to find solace in the anticipation of attending my very first concert, which was going to be performed by my favourite artist. I spent the days leading up to the concert diligently with happiness. I had an amazing time at the concert, and after it ended, I realized that I was still completely capable of setting a goal and being motivated by it, despite my physical limitations. This experience served as a turning point, reminding me of the importance of focusing on my goals rather than dwelling on setbacks. From that point, I started becoming more aware of my surroundings and recognized all the people around me that were willing to help. Acknowledging the support of those who stood by me during my struggles, despite my initial resistance, played a pivotal role in my journey. Accepting their encouragement and assistance, I gradually regained my footing and approached grade 11 with renewed determination. Now in grade 12, I am proud to have received acceptance letters from several of my priority schools, along with scholarships. This achievement serves as a testament to the hard work and resilience I have demonstrated throughout my journey.In retrospect, I've come to realize that success is not merely about reaching a goal, but also about the journey undertaken to achieve it. Setting motivating goals, mindful planning, resilience in the face of challenges, and the ability to reflect on past actions are all integral to the process. Furthermore, remaining open to criticism and accepting help from others are crucial factors that contribute to eventual success.
In conclusion, success is a multi-faceted journey that requires dedication, resilience, and adaptability. By embracing these principles and persevering in the face of adversity, one can overcome any obstacle and achieve their goals. Sunsia What is comparison? Comparison can be defined by, “a consideration or estimate of the similarities or dissimilarities between two things or people.” As of right now nobody can fully explain why we do compare ourselves although professionals have narrowed it down to 2 types of comparison; upward and downward. Upward comparison is defined by comparing ourselves to people who have shown greater success than us. Downward comparison is when we tend to compare ourselves to people that have accomplished less than what we have. We’ve probably all compared ourselves to someone at some point in our lives. Sometimes we even can use it as a tool for reassurance to collect information from others. Sometimes when we were younger our parents would compare us to our friends, because they were more helpful or cooperative around our parents so they would sometimes say something like, “Why can’t you be as helpful as ***”. A little healthy competition can definitely be a good thing for trying to better yourself or use someone's successes to inspire you and motivate you to be a better person. However there are also many negative elements present in comparison. Especially with social media, we have normalized that especially for young girls, that they should look perfect at such young ages, such as 13 and older. For our generation, I think we have grown up with the normalization of comparison at such young ages of our lives where we didn’t have enough maturity to understand that social media is fake. So why would we compare ourselves to something unreal? This is the negative side of comparison. Many studies have shown that social comparison can guide you into feelings of guilt and sadness. Comparaison can vary in many different forms depending upon the type. Upward comparison has shown to lower our self esteem because if you always only compare yourself to people that you think are better than yourself, you are already going into the mindset that you are less than them, which is not true, because everyone has different factors that shape who they are. Downward comparison in research has been shown that it is proven as more effective as being positive for yourself, because when you compare yourself to someone who is “inferior” to you that can make you look/feel better. In my mind both these types are toxic to your mental health because it either causes you to look down on yourself, or causes you to look down on others around you. A really important thing about comparison that isn’t talked about enough is the fact that every single person is different so no person can look and act the exact same. For my own personal experience with comparison I’ve always found it to be a negative experience. Now that I am older and more mature I can understand the difference between “positive and negative” comparisons. For myself when I was younger I would find myself comparing myself to a few of my friends not even considering factors which affected the situation.
When comparing myself for instance when I was younger and when I used to do dance, I would compare myself a lot to the people around me thinking to myself, “wow, they’re so good, why can’t I be as good as them?”. This was a really bad way to look at my progress. Now that I’m older and I do rethink situations like that when I did compare myself I realize that I didn’t even consider why they were “better” than I was. Now I can reflect and can see they had more experience as they’ve been doing it since they were little and I joined much later than them, so it makes sense they are more experienced than myself. Brooke Social connections are for people. However, with all friendships and relationships we make, many emotions come along with it including the feeling of “missing”. The official definition from Google for the word missing is, “not present; absent or lost”. But why do we even feel the emotion of missing? When we miss someone, it means that we really care about them and value them. You can miss someone for many different reasons. Maybe, you miss someone who passed away, someone who was once a close friend, or simply someone who has moved away. I am an international student visiting from Frankfurt, Germany. I said good bye to my family, my friends and my dog. I wanted to come to Canada to experience new things and create new memories. Here I have found new friends and a wonderful second family. Despite all the good, there is still a huge part missing. Not having certain special people in your life can hurt or can even make you feel empty. It feels like a part of you is lost or stuck somewhere else. Sometimes it is a constant feeling (especially when the "wounds" are fresh) and sometimes the emotion comes in unexpected waves. It can be triggered by simple things like food, songs, smells, or other random things that reminds us of this person. It is not just a feeling or something in your head, it is also expressed physically. You can get headaches or stomach pains easily, or maybe you just feel exhausted. You can have sleep problems, and your thoughts keep you awake, or you do not have the energy or motivation to get up and experience the day without this person. Missing someone can also affect your appetite or your ability to concentrate. For me personally, it also feels like a huge weight on my shoulders and pressure on my heart. Furthermore, scientists proved that the resulting stress reduces the immune system functions which means you can get sick easier. It is okay to feel all this emotion, and it is not a bad thing at all. It shows how important this person is to you and that you want to have them in your life. This is actually a beautiful thing.
Even though, it is important to accept this feeling and not push it away, you should try not to get hung up on it. It does not mean you should not think about them, recall memories or talk to them, if that is even possible. However, it is important to not overthink or drown in memories because the goal is to feel better, and not to feel hurt or sad. You can try out new things, get distracted and meet new people. You can also write them a letter; tell them you miss them or meditate. I would recommend talking about this emotion with someone. Sharing feelings, helps me personally to take some weight off my shoulders. And most importantly: always remember this feeling of “missing” will not last forever! Laetitia Anyone ever feel like their mind is a little too busy for comfort? Or maybe a lot too busy to function? Whether that's through daily interactions, school, work, personal care etc. that's been me the past month and a half. Exhausting I know… It also just so happens to be that time of year where seasonal depression hits a little harder than expected especially with the holidays right around the corner. I totally missed my blog date and this just happens to be part of the reason why. I'm not the type to get into too much detail but this seems to be the place to do so here we go. I hate the holidays, I know it is controversial but I do. Maybe not the holidays itself, more so that I miss spending it as a family, a whole family. It was late November, the 24th to be exact, in 2018 when my dad told my mom he wanted out. Out of their marriage, their commitment. I didn't understand it. He told us that he couldn't be a good dad and a good husband at the same time without breaking himself in the process. I remember being scared questioning if that meant he wanted nothing to do with me or my brothers. I thought I was losing my dad. In the first few days after that I helped my dad buy a new bed and move into a spare room. I clinged to every moment I could, hid my sadness because I didn't know what else to do. Within the month to my knowledge at the time he started dating his current partner. I got even angrier not understanding how he could be with someone else so quickly after leaving my mom, my family. Earlier this November I finally let all those emotions flood back in after keeping them out of reach for years trying to support my two brothers and my mom emotionally. This was the first year on November 24th that I didn't hear anything from my mom about my dad, the first year she wasn't breaking down and crying, this was the first year she seemed better. It was earlier this December that I found out that my dad in fact did cheat on my mom after years of denying it. Four days my not seem like a lot but to me it's not just the four days he was involved with another woman it's the multiple years after that, that he denied it and lied about it, it's the fact that I was the only person he told directly, it's the fact that I was the one to tell my mom that the man she has been married to for twenty years had cheated on her, the fact I told my brother the truth. I cannot even express how much anger I have built up around it. I hate what he did, I hate how much resentment I had built toward my mom thinking it was her fault. I've been spending the last month in a cycle of hate-sadness-numbness-anger and let me tell you it's exhausting. But there is also no other way than through. It is ok to let yourself feel, sometimes it can be scary to do that but it's for the best. Moving on from an experience does not exist, only learning to live with it. I still love my dad and he is still majorly involved in my life but it's also ok to still be angry. You just need to remember that your emotions, your experience is yours and it is valid. ~ E On November 4th 2023, something happened that completely changed mine and my family's life. It was a casual day, my Dad dropped me off at my friends house that morning, went home, had a cup of tea, and went for a walk, and just didn't come back. I waited at my friend's home for him to come pick me up but he didn't come so I took the bus back. I got home around 7PM, my dad left for his walk around 5 PM. I took my bike and went all over town searching for him for almost 2 hours. Around 9 I asked my neighbour to drive my dads car and look for him. Me, my mom and friend went to look everywhere for him just to find a police car right near the school. I asked the policeman happened. He was removing caution tape from that area. He asked me what my dad was wearing and then he said ‘If i show you a picture can you tell me if it's your dad’ He showed me the picture and my heart shattered as the picture was of my dad. The policeman told me that he got hit by a car and that he was taken to the hospital. The whole time I wondered if my dad was even alive. When I got to the hospital, they made me wait in a room and then a nurse came and met me and said that your dad is alive but he has endured a really serious brain injury. I went into the room and I saw him for the first time. I saw my mom crying, hitting his chest and asking my dad to wake up. I was frozen in the moment, I couldn't move, I was just standing there. Even typing this right now has got me frozen. He was on life support, with tubes and bruises everywhere. I had never thought that something like this would happen. I spent the night at the hospital while they transferred him at the ICU. That night, the doctors came and spoke to us and said that he could never wake up, that he had a serious brain injury and if he does wake up, he could have serious defects. As much as I wanted to cry, I couldn't. I had to take care of my mom, inform the whole family, talk to the police, talk to the staff and worry about my dad all at the same time. The next few weeks went by and dad still hadn't woken up despite being taken off of all sedation medicine. All I could think about was how much I loved him and about how better it would be if I had my family by my side. I was doing everything by myself. I was thinking about how life would be much easier if I had people I loved around me, even just my brother. I never realized how important my family is to me but now I know that they are my everything. My Dad slowly started getting up, at first he opened his eyes a bit and then a bit more, then he started moving his hands, his legs, he started responding to pain and everything came back with time. When he spoke his first words he said ‘where are my mom and dad’ and I cried so hard and finally felt some relief. My Dad didn't remember who I was or who anybody was, he just wanted his parents. He kept asking about his parents and where they were, without even knowing they passed 7 years ago. He too, realized how important family was that day. With time his memories all came back and now he is walking, talking, driving and more. He is on his recovery journey and so am I.
Gurleen When experienced meditators meditate, a large-scale brain network called the Default Mode Network (DMN) becomes inactive. The DMN is a region located throughout our brain and plays a role in distinguishing between the many electrical signals coming through our five senses to prevent them from overlapping in the brain. The DMN becomes more active when one thinks about 'myself', such as 'my things', 'my future', and 'my past', and becomes less active when one thinks about things other than 'myself'. But the interesting thing is that the DMN is not activated when children are young, so when someone asks them something, they do not know how to say 'I'. And the reason why people who meditate see the world as beautiful is because by eliminating the existence of 'I', all virtual values and symbols disappear, and they see the world as it is. Humans, who couldn’t leave the world as it was, created an imaginary symbol called 'I' that didn’t exist in the world in order to understand this world. It seemed that the world could not be explained without 'I', so we created a virtual symbol called 'I' and were finally able to explain this world. After we created ‘I’, many other values were also created. As ‘I’ was created, ‘good people’ and ‘bad people’ were created, and as ‘I’ had beliefs, ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ were created. However, “such a person” or “such a thing” does not exist, but is a virtual value created by us. An example to understand better: If you ask someone who has a bf or gf why they like their bf or gf, what will that person say? Because he’s competent and handsome? Because she’s pretty and kind? If that person answers that way, that person doesn’t like their bf and gf, but rather likes the virtual value he/she has given to that other person. Nevertheless, that person who get married thinking he/she truly love that person, when time passes and that person's face changes over time or the once competent person starts to be not competent, they don’t like their partner as before and they see that their partner no longer fits their virtual values and they says that their husband/wife has changed and became different. But no one has changed, the situation has changed. Situation from bf and gf who goes out on a date watching a movie in the cinema to mom and dad who raise their children. They didn't love their partner from the beginning, they didn't see the essence behind the virtual values. What the two saw was the virtual values, and that value changes when the standard and situation changes. The reason why people who meditate see the world as beautiful is because they see the world as it is, with all virtual values and symbols disappearing as the existence of 'I' is eliminated. Do you know how beautiful the world seen that way is? Don't look at the sky as 'sky', don't look at trees as 'trees', and you will realize that this world was full of beautiful art. We have large museums, large screens, and large paintings and sculptures, but the universe uses the entire sky to paint and the entire earth to create sculptures. Moreover, it is moving media art that changes every time! So how can we see the world without expectations? Just love everything! True love is love without ‘me’. If I love everything in this universe, this universe becomes me and I become this universe. At that moment, meditators say “I’m enlightened”. It is not difficult to see the world as it is, because we had already seen it that way. As we were young children, when we couldn’t even say “I,” we saw the world as it was without any standards, without any judgment, and that world was really exciting! Jaden When I think about responsibility, many things come to my mind and precisely for this reason, we must think carefully and slowly about this subject. Responsibility is not just about completing some task of yours, studying for a test for example, etc., responsibility generates around 100% of our lives from an age onwards. I say from an age because when we are children we don't need to worry about many things, until our body develops, we grow and then responsibilities arise in our lives, be they school, family, work, personal matters, or anything else in our lives. There are so many examples that there is no way for us to stop and think “what do we need to be responsible for?”. And this arises in us when we realize that we have things to do, accomplish, or we see that time is short and that we need to be quick about something, make the right decision. Decision, one of the key words for “responsibility in our lives”. When my parents and I decided to give me the opportunity to go on this exchange, overall, it was so that I could develop in everything. Becoming a more organized person, a person who knows how to deal with their RESPONSIBILITIES alone, who knows the things they should do, etc. And since I arrived here in Canada, I can say that everything we thought about, I've already been through here. Since I arrived, having my commitments, having to do what I had to do, managing alone in a country far from mine, without the help of my real parents. These were challenges that I had difficulties with at first, like any other, but as time went by, everything worked out, and here I am, practically 40 days away from returning to Brazil. And I can say that everything I went through and that occurred to me here were challenges and that I managed to overcome them all. Now, why am I saying all this about my exchange etc? Because all of this revolves around responsibility, all the things I did here, that I accomplished, that I went through, my decisions, choices, they were all my responsibility, that during these 4 months and almost 5, I had responsibility for everything I had to do. to do. And in the end, I can tell my parents and everyone that I developed a lot of myself, due to the responsibility I had in managing EVERYTHING here on my own. Having gone through all these challenges, and having responsibility, developing my responsibility, I see it as a characteristic that every leader must have in their life, being a person who makes decisions, whether they are right or wrong, but who in any case will always keep standing because he knows that God has challenges for him every day, and that if he wants to achieve his goals, he will have to fight against these challenges every day. This is not just for a leader, but for the whole world, for all people who are on a mission to achieve something, who are going through difficult times, or even in their normal daily lives. That's why I say that responsibility is something that human beings develop over time, that when they are born, they don't need to worry about anything, and that as the years go by, they grow up and have their first responsibilities/challenges in life, which Over time, you get more and more, and thus get better and better, making better decisions and being more RESPONSIBLE in your life. Never be afraid to take risks, to try different things, new things, these are typical things that everyone should try, in order to discover new gaps in our lives, because always living the same thing, the basics, gets boring, and that brings a certain feeling of tiredness and that our body no longer wants to do that. Investing in new things and looking for different paths are among our responsibilities, this facilitates some of our challenges, for example, it is our responsibility to think of some way out, solution, etc. Responsibility revolves around our lives, and as time passes, we become more responsible, depending on what we chose before. That's why we should never give up in difficult times, bad moments, there will always be a light in the dark and this will always make us a better and new person, increasingly taking responsibility for everything in our lives!
Kauã Sites that can help: •https://greggvanourek.com/full-responsibility/#:~:text=It%20means%20taking%20full%20responsibility,the%20achievement%20of%20our%20goals. •https://declutterthemind.com/blog/take-responsibility/ •https://www.masterclass.com/articles/taking-responsibility-for-your-actions We’ve all found ourselves in a doom scroll. Whether it be on Instagram, TikTok, or whatever other social media outlet that benefits from the consumer’s time on the app. As a result, they push short videos with lots of stimulation to keep you engaged, and before you know it, you’ve found yourself behind the screen for much longer than you intended. I have often found myself being enraptured in this escape of a world. Where the real-world lies, I have many responsibilities; school, work, soccer, Mandarin classes, etc. It is a constant battle of what homework or what task I must complete next. The stress builds and builds, and throughout the day, I want nothing more than an escape from reality. A world where no homework needs to be done, a world where no task needs to be completed. As I know, this escape of a world is accessible to me in the palm of my hand. Who am I? But a mere mortal, I crumple like a crouton in a bowl of Caesar salad. The urge to open the app for just one second, maybe to check what Ryan’s daily NNN post is: “I wonder if he’s posted something strange about his balls today”. After I check Ryan’s post, I check to see what my other close friends are doing, and with the brittleness of a crouton I crumble, and I find myself on the explore page. I start with just a couple of short videos, but then I’m hooked, and just like croutons, you can’t have just one, you need a lot to make your salad a delectable treat. (Except this isn’t like a salad, because a salad leaves you feeling fulfilled, doom scrolling leaves you feeling empty) have guessed) then I need not worry about the possibility for me to pick up the phone.I check the time after ten minutes: “I have time to do homework, just a couple more minutes”. I look up after twenty-two minutes, “Ehh, I can keep on going until thirty, plus I need a little brain break”. Before I know it, it’s been three hours, and I’ve done absolutely nothing that I consider productive. The phone is a short-term relief, but the instant gratification takes the reigns on my conscious. It’s a battle between me, myself, and I, and if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I can’t win against myself. It’s like boxing a mirror, there is no good outcome. To get rid of this crumpling crouton syndrome. I’ve found that the best solution is to completely get rid of the “other me”, I must defeat the “other me” and to do this I read a quote from “The Art of War by Sun Tzu” which states “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.” This implies that if I know my enemy (me) and know myself (me, again) and recognize their weakness (me, again, bet you couldn’t My own weakness is my height, and as a result, I have devised a master plan. I use a step ladder to put my phone on the top cabinet above my fridge, sitting next to this random duck where it is out of reach. I keep it there until I have done a significant amount of work that I feel content about, and then I allow myself to grab the “stairway to heaven”, and employ it to reach my escape world.
Though this may seem extreme, the consequences of doom scrolling can be fan-fucking-not-tastic, especially in my world of Asian grades, university applications, and overall overachiever-like syndrome in everything. I know many people like myself suffer from crouton syndrome, and if you’re having problems mediating your enemy (yourself) I highly suggest this method. I found it extremely effective, and I hope you will too. Here are a couple of links in case you wish to dive deeper into the psychology of crouton syndrome, or if you’d like to take a less extreme approach.
Lianne L-Z Perfection is the state or quality of being free or as possible. We always have a desire to be the best out of the best, but can we be the best? I am a person who strives for perfection in everything, from folding T-shirts to driving in the middle of the road. I need to be perfect at all times. I think it all originated from the environment I was growing up in. In South Asian culture, to be respectful to someone older than you, we don’t use names when calling them. In a way, we learn that acknowledging them without their name is the first sign of respectfulness. As I am the oldest sibling and cousin, they all call me 'didi’ which means older sister. Ever since childhood, everyone younger than me called me that out of respect. However, with this name came a lot of responsibility. We are indirectly the role models for the younger ones. The expectations of a well-paid job, making no mistakes, being academically independent and more. I did not realize until now that those listed expectations are spot-on examples of perfection. Since childhood, being put as a person to look up to made me get this image in my head where the main underlining is perfection. That kept me reflecting on everything I do in life. Just how I dress, talk, behave, the list can go on. Having this perception of myself prevented me from looking at myself any differently. The compliments and accomplishments I kept getting were digging the perfections more deeply in me. I have only come to realize the true meaning of perfection now. It started to take a toll on my mental and physical health. I was doing many extracurricular activities in a day from that role model imagery. I lost weight drastically from the sports and not letting my body reset. The stress was adding to it all. At one point, I couldn't let go of things that weren't done perfectly by me, I felt like a failure. Now I allow myself to make mistakes, I think of them more positively rather than the other way around All this being said, think of it like this. We are humans, but not always perfect ones. I started to think of it as a flower which has not bloomed yet. Though it does not look perfect like the others, we still put it in a vase on the dining table. This perspective leads me to strive for continuous improvement rather than unattainable perfection.
In the end, it is all about acknowledging our imperfections, celebrating our progress, and always being open to learning and growing! Janvi J Have you ever thought about moving to a completely foreign country, to an unknown family and a new environment for six months or a year? And that completely alone? Maybe some of you thought yes, but others also thought no. In any case, I have always dreamed of doing a year abroad. Even when I was a little child, I knew that I wanted to go to America someday. But planning a year abroad is not as easy as I thought. The whole time I just kept telling everyone that I was going to leave at some point, but I never really thought about it or made any plans. When I was in the 9th grade, a friend of mine was in Canada, near Toronto, and my mother asked me whether I wanted to do a year abroad or not. Of course I wanted to. But then she asked me so many questions and I just said that I still had enough time. Well, time passed and passed and at some point it was January again and my girlfriend was back from Canada. She told me everything and I thought it was so beautiful that I just wanted to go there even more. In the meantime, my mother had asked around where there were a few trade fairs where you could look at organizations. At that point I really wanted to go to Florida or California. In April 2022 we went to our first trade fair and looked at many organizations. We took magazines with us but I didn't look at them again until the summer holidays. When we were on vacation and had enough time, my parents and I looked at which country would be suitable and which would not. We quickly realized that the USA was far too expensive. In the meantime I wanted to go to Canada anyway and preferably towards Vancouver. We then used the same organization as my friend because everything worked out well for her. Once we had personally spoken to the members of Southern Cross and exchanged numbers, we had to wait a bit. At some point I had to facetime with one of them so that he could show me the different options around Vancouver. I quickly decided on Delta because it's not directly in Vancouver, but you can still get to the city center quickly. Since I had now decided on a district, it was now the turn of the school. I could choose the first, second and third choice. My first choice was SDSS. I then had to send my last 3 certificates to the school. After a few weeks, I finally got the news that I had been accepted. Now it was time for the letter of motivation, which both my organization and the school could read. This writing is so that my host family can get to know me a little. I then also had to fill out a questionnaire about whether I wanted siblings, pets, what my hobby was, etc. Because I was going to SDSS, I would only have been able to get a host family in Tsawwassen. While I was waiting for an answer for a host family, my mother and I had to submit a lot of documents e.g. Fill out health insurance, allergies, for the flight and much more. I wasn't motivated to do something like that, but my mother kept trying and got me to do it. For which I am super grateful to her. We paid in January 2023 and I finally got my host family in April. A month before departure I also had individual conferences with people from my organization or from Delta. A meeting could last up to 6 hours. Then it became more and more serious and I slowly had to think about packing and saying goodbye to some friends. Packing wasn't easy at all because I was only allowed to choose a few things because there was a maximum weight. I had to have all the documents for the flight, customs and myself ready in my backpack. On August 25th the time had come. I was standing at the airport with my parents and two friends. I said goodbye, which was difficult for me, especially with my parents. But before I came to Canada I was in New York with my organization for 4 days. The time was unforgettable. I've been in Tsawwassen since August 29th and I can say that the effort was worth it and I'm endlessly grateful that I'm allowed to be here and that my parents made it possible for me. All in all I can absolutely recommend that everyone who has the possibilities should do an exchange year during their time in high school or university. It is definitely a lifetime experience. Merle S. Growing up I was always bigger than everyone else. I was both chubby and muscular. I still remember when I went on my first diet in grade 3… It was the bernstein diet, half an apple for breakfast, salad and chicken for lunch and usually the same or maybe slightly different for dinner. I lost weight fast and was very proud of myself. After getting off the diet I started to go back into old habits and was continuously growing, so I kept seeing my weight get higher. “Why does it only go up?”, “why can’t I be skinny?”… “why can’t I be beautiful?” These are all things I started asking myself intensely by the time I was 8-9. “If you keep eating you will be the size of a house.” and “If you continue like this you will be on my 600 lb life when you're older.” are two things I vividly remember hearing that stayed engraved in my mind for years. When I started high school I had my limits. I couldn't tolerate myself anymore. I avoided looking at myself in mirrors, I avoided being in photos, I avoided dressing nice because all I wanted to do was cover how hideous I thought I was. So when Covid happened that was the perfect time for me to start dieting again. At first everything was good. I did things in a relatively healthy way. But about 3-4 weeks in I wanted things to move along faster. “Why am I not seeing the results I want?” “Why am I still so fat?” “Why do I look like a monster?”. So I decided to go more extreme, I gradually limited myself to a dangerous amount of calories per day. Another big thing that happened around that time was I discovered popular diets like the IU diet. I did this diet for 5-8(?) weeks and I can confidently say I never want to eat a sweet potato again. In addition to all of this I also developed Bulimia. I did all this on top of weight training, running, and practicing mma. I never got to a point in my journey where I was underweight but I got to a point where my metabolism and other things were starting to get very messed up. So, after starting grade 9 I decided to try and phase out of this. But I was never happy with myself, I still wondered the same things “why am I not pretty?”, “Why am I still fat?”, “Why do I look like a monster?”… So I thought starting to properly dress myself would help boost my spirits… Long story short, I'm still terrified to try on clothes and avoid clothes shopping vigorously. I never want to look at myself trying on clothes in the mirror, I never want to have to try a size up if I grab the wrong size. 9/10 of all my mental breakdowns are because of my appearance (the other 1/10 is probably math. I thought I was getting better by the time I hit grade 10… I wasn't… the same thing in grade 11… I wasn’t. And because I was always hating myself, loathing even the thought of what I look like I started binge eating which would cause me to gain more weight… and hate myself even more than I already did. I avoid taking pictures with people as much as possible, I avoid simply taking selfies of myself for the same reason… I’m ashamed and embarrassed of what I look like. If I’m taking a picture with anyone I will nitpic that photo to a point I don't consider myself an actual person. My dad loves photography and takes amazing pictures but I can look at his pictures sometimes without having to rush to say “they all look amazing, I’m just gonna run to the washroom” and then rushing to another room to cry because I don't like the way I look. I’ve let photos ruin my morning, afternoon, day, week, etc. Recently I’ve noticed just how terrible I’ve been to myself about my appearance for the majority of my life. From 8 all the way to now I have never once loved myself. In my head I’m still everything I said here plus a bunch worse. However, I want to change, I want to be proud of who I am. I want to confidently enter a store to buy clothes. I want to confidently go take 4-cuts with friends without thinking to myself “I should lose 5lb at least before we do that” or simply hope they forget the suggestion. I want to look in a mirror and smile. But at the same time I still fall back into the same mindset and still consider having my “ideal” body most important. So this cycle of hating myself will continue, but I know someday I will learn to love myself and smile when I see myself in the mirror and in pictures <3 Jane W |
Categories
|