Perfection is the state or quality of being free or as possible. We always have a desire to be the best out of the best, but can we be the best? I am a person who strives for perfection in everything, from folding T-shirts to driving in the middle of the road. I need to be perfect at all times. I think it all originated from the environment I was growing up in. In South Asian culture, to be respectful to someone older than you, we don’t use names when calling them. In a way, we learn that acknowledging them without their name is the first sign of respectfulness. As I am the oldest sibling and cousin, they all call me 'didi’ which means older sister. Ever since childhood, everyone younger than me called me that out of respect. However, with this name came a lot of responsibility. We are indirectly the role models for the younger ones. The expectations of a well-paid job, making no mistakes, being academically independent and more. I did not realize until now that those listed expectations are spot-on examples of perfection. Since childhood, being put as a person to look up to made me get this image in my head where the main underlining is perfection. That kept me reflecting on everything I do in life. Just how I dress, talk, behave, the list can go on. Having this perception of myself prevented me from looking at myself any differently. The compliments and accomplishments I kept getting were digging the perfections more deeply in me. I have only come to realize the true meaning of perfection now. It started to take a toll on my mental and physical health. I was doing many extracurricular activities in a day from that role model imagery. I lost weight drastically from the sports and not letting my body reset. The stress was adding to it all. At one point, I couldn't let go of things that weren't done perfectly by me, I felt like a failure. Now I allow myself to make mistakes, I think of them more positively rather than the other way around All this being said, think of it like this. We are humans, but not always perfect ones. I started to think of it as a flower which has not bloomed yet. Though it does not look perfect like the others, we still put it in a vase on the dining table. This perspective leads me to strive for continuous improvement rather than unattainable perfection.
In the end, it is all about acknowledging our imperfections, celebrating our progress, and always being open to learning and growing! Janvi J
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Speaking for myself, I am someone who puts a lot of pressure to strive for greatness in this world. Who else can relate to feeling this way? The feeling of needing to do better, to be better, is an overwhelming emotion. In high school I am at a constant worry of striving for greatness, don’t get me wrong this can be measured in small actions. Worries in high school can vary from a chemistry test to what is the best time to post an Instagram post. Let’s be real here, does it actually have any significance to when your selfie is posted?? These minimal things in life shouldn’t be what we strive for. 300 likes on an Instagram post won’t be recognized 5 years from now, being the best version of yourself everyday is what people will recognize 5 years from now. To define what I mean by “best version of yourself everyday” is to be your authentic self, not what other people define you as. To stand up for yourself, to recognize greatness within you, to know everything will be okay so don’t stress & ruin your smile, to love yourself unconditionally no matter the flaws or mistakes. Striving for greatness is knowing you will never be your hero ten years from now but to keep chasing after them. Matthew McConaughey had an astonishing speech when he when won Best Actor at the Oscars in 2014, in the video he talks about the 3 things he needs each day and the last one is his hero. Here’s the video (skip to minute 3:30). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wD2cVhC-63I Chasing your future self means a new chapter in your life, turning the page leaving the past in the past knowing what is to come is better than what’s gone. If you’re stuck on getting 300 likes on an Instagram post you won’t have time to chase your future self. Strive for the best version of yourself, not 300 Instagram likes on that selfie you posted. Ella M (Image:Tyler Lastovich) “Does the perfect person exist in the world?” This is the question that I got from my younger sister, when she was only 8 years old. I couldn’t answer her question because I always thought that a person who has strong self-esteem is a perfect person. However, it is really hard to define who’s perfect, and who’s not based only on self-esteem. Self-esteem and Standard of a Perfect Life What is self-esteem ? According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of ‘ self-esteem ’ is “ confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect ”. Also, "Esteem" is derived from the Latin aestimare, meaning "to appraise, value, rate, estimate". Then how can we improve our Self-esteem? 1. Be positive, and be generous to yourself 2. Everyone make mistakes, at least once in their lifetime, so don’t reproach yourself for making one mistake. 3. Challenge yourself, and deal with the problems, or things that require your flaws’ to improve 4. Spend more time with supportive people 5. Try to focus on the things that makes you feel better and confident Personal Reflection Personally, I lack self-confidence, or self-esteem. I still hesitate a lot when I have to face problems that I’ve never faced before. In addition, I had to get through the racial discrimination. For example, when I was in grade 8, I felt different from the majority of the classmates because I was the only international student. All of these things made me feel small and useless. These things made me think that a person who has strong self-esteem is the ‘perfect person’, and I admired my friends who were more confident about themselves than me. Then, my mom suggested I read one book, which was, ‘Self Respect Lesson’, by Yoon Hong Kyun. Yoon Hong Kyun is a Doctor of Humanities, who wrote a lot of books that are related to Humanities and self-respect. In the novel, he says that everyone has their own flaws, and we don’t have to be self-conscious from the others. He mentioned that we have to know how to love ourselves, including our flaws. Furthermore, he says that there’s no standard for ‘perfection’. After I read this book, I suddenly realized that I spent too much time thinking about the things that are inefficient, that make me feel bad, and result in making me feel like a small person. After that book, I started to focus on the positive things, and take the focus off the negative. (Image: Julian Jagtenberg)
About the perfection These days, people are getting many information from the internet or social media. However the fault of the information on the internet is that it is repleted with the unproved (manipulated) information. Also, the pictures of celebrities or influencers on the social media easily affect many people to get a fixed definition of what is an ideal life. Perfection does not exist, and it is just a standard that people made by their own perspectives. No one can be perfect at everything. So challenge yourself, and don't compare yourself with the ‘perfect’ standard that you have made. “A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.” - May Sarton There’s no standard for the perfect person, and no one can be perfect at everything. Therefore, be generous to your, and the others’ mistakes. Myongseo S Video related to Self-esteem Video related to Ending the pursuit of Perfection |
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