We always want to be a better person and we want to be successful. So today I am going to write a blog about self-actualization. Self-actualization is the continuous fulfillment of growth motives. The meaning is difficult, but surprisingly simple. Just set your own goals and make a step for how to achieve them. Maslow’s theory of self actualization is extremely important and popular. As shown in the picture, Maslow’s self-actualization is divided into five stages. The first stage is the basics which is food, water, house, heat, breathing, and sleep very simple and easy. If the first stage is achieved, move on to the next stage which is safety of body, employment, resources, morality, the family, health, property etc. If the second stage has also passed, move on to stage 3. Stage 3 is relationship which is friendship, family, sexual intimacy. Almost everyone should have made it to stage 3. The next stage is a bit more difficult, which is esteem including self-esteem, confidence, achievement, respect of others, respect by others. If you've come this far, try stage 5, the last step. I think stage 5 is the most important and the hardest one. Stage 5 is self-actualization which is morality, creativity, spontaneity, problem solving, lack of prejudice, acceptance of facts. If you complete every stage then you will know how to make your future self actualization and you will be a better person and you can reach your own goals. Based on Maslow's theory of self-actualization, you can set your own goals and make steps to how to achieve them, and approach that goal. Then you will know how to make your future self actualization.
Eunseo H There’s more information for self actualization https://www.betterup.com/blog/self-actualization
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They say high school prepares you for life. Well, I graduated yesterday and I’m still terrified of my future. Technically I didn’t graduate yet because I still don’t have my diplomas and I have another two weeks or so of french. But still, I wore the cap and gown and I walked across the stage. It was a lot more underwhelming than I thought it would be, but I guess that’s because I walked in front of about twenty people rather than hundreds of them. After it was over, everyone I talked to asked me one question: “So how does it feel to graduate from high school?” After being asked this question about twenty five times, I started to reflect. How was high school? When I think of the ups and downs of high school, my mind is drawn to the negative. I certainly had my fair share of downs. I fought with (and lost) friends, I struggled with keeping on top of my school work and extracurricular activities, I argued with family and I battled some mental health and confidence issues. I had bad teachers. I let people down, I let myself down. There have been times when I have been a shitty friend and student. I worked through a lot of negatives. There were days where I wouldn’t have a place to eat so I’d walk around until I found someone I knew. There were fights where I walked away as I thought about punching my best friend in the face. There were times that I felt really self-critical and times that I felt self-conscious over nothing and proceeded to feel guilty about that. But haven’t we all? Isn’t that what high school is about? The more I think about the bad experiences, the more I come up with reasons why those led to better ones. I grew through every single one of those experiences. Good and bad. I learned about toxicity and what that means for me. I learned about what kind of person I am, and the kind of people I like to have in my life. I gained a best friend for life. I grew closer with my parents and my brother. I became a better friend. I am becoming a better student. I am learning how to take care of myself. I’m learning how to bite off an amount that I can chew. I dealt with bad teachers, classmates and co-workers, the way I will have to for the rest of my life. I learned how to hold my tongue and think before I speak. I learned that sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth and that’s okay. You can’t control people. And that’s okay. I learned, I grew, I matured. The person I am on my way to becoming, is born from these high school experiences, through trial and error. There’s no way to teach this. There’s no way for you to study and learn this without actually doing it. You have to go to school, be a kid. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll be an idiot, you’ll get in trouble. That’s life. Maybe high school academics don’t prepare you for life, maybe it’s that not so obvious personal development, that secret “becoming a better human” that does. When I think about all of this, of how prepared I actually am and the people I’ll have in my corner, the future doesn’t look so scary after all.
Nevada J Well this year was certainly a rollercoaster, well at least I think it was. I feel like there are many ways we can cover it and go on to say negative things about the year 2020/21, but sometimes we have to look further than what we can actually see or think. I don't want this to seem like a reflection of the past year, or a way to feel sympathy as a grad of 2021, but I want this to give me the occasion to let me tell you my story. So there are many things that each individual goes through as we have our own life's to live, and we often pass through events that are meant to be in our lives. When those events occur, did you ever ask yourself what they meant for you, like their purpose? I guess you could call this a type of self-relfection which is the key to self-awareness. Through this practice we are able to look at ourselves with interest and curiosity. In my opinion I only self reflect after a year, doesn't have to be on paper or verbally said, but we could eventually take a step back on life and take a moment to spot out some positive impacts and be grateful about them. This past year for me was very hard to handle. I had a lot on my plate, emotions pouring out, friendships tearing apart, family disconnection, fear of being alone, and much more. And that's just barely touching the surface on some things. And you may have noticed but those were negative aspects of the past year. Now that is something I hate doing but it's natural to spot negative things as we humans are really good at doing that. Let’s put that aside for a moment and focus on the positive parts of the past year. For me I did not have school until February as the schedule changed for school. I had so much spare time to focus on my own health like my knee pain, and my dance training as it is important for me to get on top of it and take care of it. It also gave me time to really focus on my dance auditions for university applications. Now seeing that I had so much spare time I am glad I spent it well. Looking back at it and seeing my actions well chosen I feel a sense of completion or success and that creates motivation for me. I hope I'm not the only one who feels like this when they appreciate that their effort pays off. I am so grateful that this year became an eye opener, as I realized who my real best-friends were and who weren't. I guess it can be really hard for you to realize that a best friend of yours is gone in no time, but the reality can be harsh, right? Well I mean nothing comes so easy. Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love. Life can be full of hard life lessons to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it. Amélie G Conversation is inevitable. A conversation holds much more power than we think it does. As humans we yearn for human connection; interaction. An exchange of energy, where both are paying attention to one another. Here is where we begin to deepen the moment, inspire change and build trust. I have had many eye opening events happen to me in the past few months. I will be sharing what techniques and thought processes that have led me with the mindset I have now.
The last couple months before hitting 2021 have been on the crazier side. For all this to make sense I will have to start at the benign, of late September. My dad was faced with many losses on his extended side of the family. With my grandparents being ill, he consciously made the decision to go see them. Within just a week of my fathers arrival, my grandfather passed away. In Albania, when there is a death there are gatherings. With covid lurking in the corner, it was just a matter of time. After about a week and a half after, my father and most of the imitated family got covid. Leading to my grandmother's death in mid November. Unfortunately my uncle was unable to be there. It was hard to see him lose his parents and not be able to grieve properly. I often went to my uncle's house to make sure he was doing good, but i was told not to talk about what was going on. Searching for a way to grief with the loss was only possible when my dad got back. It is very important to mourn the losses of loved ones. During this time, I was working mercilessly. Working six to seven days a week, working the next days of my grandparents death. When living far away from family and not having them in your daily life, it's easier to forget. When my dad first got back he was an absolute mess, emotionally and menatally. It's hard for anyone to lose their parents. My father and I sat down and he was telling me the conversations that he had with his father and mother. He explained to me how they passed, showed me the funerals and explained everything. Hearing about how my grandmother passed was very upsetting. Seeing how truly painful and uncomfortable she was is devastating. My father explained to me how it was much easier to grieve for his father than his mother. The reason being, he was able to have conversations, share his thoughts and feelings with many people. He heard new stories about his father that he hadn't heard before and they were able to talk about the situation. I had let go of my “obligations” and took a step back to figure out what I wanted for my life. By taking a moment to reflect on time, conversations, myself and others. What really helped me doing that, was finding a space that was isolated and that was enjoyable. Somewhere I felt comfortable and expressed any emotion freely. I also found myself using techniques that Mr Hortness discusses in the class. I think it is very important to take advantage of the lessons that are taught in this course. Especially the lessons that help with self improvement. But also how to take the lesson and tweak them to work better for you. One technique I used was the gratitude journal. However, I didn't necessarily write them down, it was more menatlly. It is the single most powerful source of inspiration that any person can tap into. Another one that I found useful, was surrounding yourself with things that keep you inspired and change your mindset, “choose what to consume.” As humans, we can be brainwashed with everything we consume. It changes our perspective, our mindset and the way we live the rest of our lives. I took the time and extracted those that I compared myself, who were not adding value to my life. As much as possible I started consuming content and following people that would most help me fulfill my purpose. The things we consume we think about and eventually we become. My mother was taking care of our close family friend that we have known for the past 20 years. She was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and she was unable to care for herself when her symptoms got worse. And snice one of the obligations that I had let go was my job. I assisted my mom and helped her with all that needed to be done. This included, grocery shopping, talking to pharmacists and doctors, and dealing with whatever problems arose. My mom would go five times a day to make sure she was taking her pills and would cook and clean for her. She has since passed, and with no family close by, we have been left dealing with her affairs, and trying to figure things out as they go. Finding myself in adult conversations and running around like a headless chicken. My mother and I were in a game of catch up. I would go from packing things in boxes to showing potential buyers the house, consulting with lawyers, and meeting all of the people that were close with her in the community. The only way I was able to succeed with these tasks was because I had a beginners mindset. When facing new challenges with a beginners mindset, you need to be able to put embassament aside and not focus on that feeling. And be comfortable with conversation. Many of the conversations I was having at this time were with the elderly. As most of them have lived out the majority of their lives, and me just begging to start mine. I headed into these conversations with a beginners mindset. Having an attitude of open mindedness and eagerness to learn, I asked questions. Started gaining insight and listening to people's past. Encouraging to share more and more with me. Let me tell you something you already know. The world is not all sunshine and rainbows, it's a mean nasty place. Nobody hits as hard as life.There are moments where you're going to doubt yourself. There are rough times that are going to come, but they have not come to stay, they have come to pass. It's important to know that. It's about how much you can take and keep moving forward. Gotta be willing to take da hits. I learnt that the past and future don't exist, they are not real. Your past is just your memory, and your future is just your imagination, it's only real in your mind. The only real moment is the present. But since then we've been taught to look at life as past, present and future. Many are missing the one moment that truly exists. We need to eliminate the past and get rid of the future and “be here now or otherwise you'll miss your life.” -Buddha https://thedashpoem.com/the-dash-poem-printable/ Albuna M There are so many things that i'm looking forward to in post-quarantine life: going out with my friends, playing sports again, being able to actually hug my friends and extended family, and going for a nice long run without having to zigzag around as many people as possible. But those activities are all just fun and games; when I think about how fast paced my life will be again after quarantine, it almost gives me a mini heart attack! Going from school to playing three different sports in a row and then coming home at 11pm to finish all my homework for the next day is usually a challenging task for me. Especially when I have to stay mentally present for the entire day without a rest (except for when I take that one nap in an anonymous class). Having said that, I actually enjoy a busy schedule because it keeps structure in my life and being able to do all these activities along with school is definitely not something to complain about. But my time in quarantine has honestly given me a new appreciation for being able to slow things down and just take a deep breath. Since everything had suddenly come to a temporary stop, I've been able to acquire a few new skills. I have learned how to cook (and I really hope i'm not the only human my age who just learned how an oven works), I have become an adequate gamer, I've done some artwork, and I've actually started playing all my instruments again. I know it’s unrealistic to want this much time on my hands post-quarantine. And I can’t wait to have freedom to be out in the world again because if it’s like this for much longer then i'll probably start to go insane. But at the end of the day, what I really want is more balance throughout my days. I want more room to breathe and to slow down so that I can savour the moments, and be focused on the present time.
So instead of just surviving this quarantine, I want to learn from it and embrace it. It’s a new experience to all of us and I think that it’s important to try and find the good that's come from this and to really be able to appreciate everything we have especially during these hard times. Brianna J If I were to simply ask you, “who are you?” I'm sure that everyone would be able to answer this question. But if you go deeper, do you actually know yourself and not just the name. We all lack the ability to see ourselves and accept how the outside world thinks of us.
There is a common phenomenon in today's society: to think too highly of oneself. And this phenomenon appears in most events. For example, many people consider themselves above the average. Often, we are particularly susceptible to this "false superiority" when making judgments about the qualities we most or least want to have. Do you believe you are someone's best friend? Are you sure you can be a blockbuster artist? Or do you consider yourself the smartest person in your class? If that's in your head, you're at the beginning of a phase of self-knowledge -- self-doubt. The ability to doubt yourself is a sign that you're starting to have a hard time with yourself. Here are four stages of self-knowledge: -doubt -deny -observe -cognitive Many people suffer from self-perception bias. This is not because they think they are too high or low, but because they are unable to determine the standard of self-evaluation. This self-perception bias leads to the duck effect, which is defined as "the lower the ability, the more likely people are to have a high evaluation of themselves, at least their ability evaluation above the average level; People with higher abilities tend to underestimate their abilities, which is a cognitive bias." GUAN W My time at SDSS is almost up, and it’s quite hard to wrap my brain around that. Going into high school, everything I “knew” was all from watching high school depictions in movies. It was safe to say I was terrified because of what the movies showed me. It was also scary because I used to be a very shy kid (and still am to an extent) and my family was very worried about my social skills and whether I would get bullied or not. I didn’t let that rattle me and I just dived right in and tried my best not to overthink it. Over the course of these past five years I have gone through some of the happiest moments in my life, as well as some of the worst moments in my life. The good times are obviously wonderful, but we don’t grow if our lives are positive all the time. The only way we grow is through the struggle. I would not be the person I am today without all of my baggage, because it taught me valuable lessons and allowed me to keep a level head through all of the chaos. Everything I longed for in grade eight, I know have. A song that’s been released to the world, a solid friend group, and am the most confident in myself that I’ve ever been (to some extent). I didn’t know who I would be when I graduated, or what I would want to go into. As a backup plan, I wanted to go into sciences (which is so stupid, I can’t even work an oven) because I was too scared to go into music, which was the start of my anxiety. It used to be really bad, but nowadays it only gets triggered by very few things like being late to class, and putting myself out there, which is why I was scared to go into music. Letting people hear your thoughts is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, but it’s something I had to do because I had to prove to myself that I was more capable than I thought I was. I got too comfortable in high school, and never pushed myself in school which made me extremely anxious doing anything remotely out of my comfort zone. As you know, I am a man of many classes (3 in school, one x block) and one of my favourite classes was leadership. Honestly, I owe a lot of my tenacity and nerve to taking leadership, as it took me out of my comfort zone, and allowed me to understand my reactions to things, why I was reacting the way I was, and to control that in order to be the best version of myself. Now I’m definitely not the best version of myself, as I feel we are all constantly growing and never truly reach our full potential. As I leave high school, I feel secure, which is extremely rare for me. I love who I am as a student, musician, and person. For years I’ve always tried to prove myself to people and this leads me to one of the most important things I’ve learned: never compare yourself to others. Everyone has their own purpose in life whether you realize that or not. Just because someone has more success than you, or is going to all these fancy schools and you’re not, doesn’t mean that they are better than you. Stay in your own lane. I know that I will never be the kid that the teacher uses an an example of the best assignment or something like that, but I will be the kid who is constantly pushing themselves to be the best artist/person they can be. And for Mr.Hortness, in January of last year I wrote on the front of my journal that I would have a song released, and look where we are now! Psychic is available on all platforms (yes shameless promo) but things really do come full circle. Thanks SD, take care. Connor N Definition: “the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected” -Google Dictionary So just think, basically you have a relationship with anyone you have interacted with. That means we all have a shit ton of relationships… friends, family, teachers, etc.- the list goes on forever. They can be great and positive but a lot of the time you may find that you have plenty of negative relationships for stupid little reasons that just sit there. Especially when you have petty and annoying immature people involved, so high school right? It seems as if you need way more positive relationships to outweigh the negative ones. Thats why its so important that you do your best to not piss people off for no reason, because the negative relationships have way more of an effect on you then the positive ones. Relationships just seem to get harder as we grow up, but i'm hoping they eventually get easier. When we were little it was great, we had a best friend or two and literally anyone could be our new best friend after a minute. As school continues our friend groups change and people do mean stuff to people or people over react and it just turns into a never ending shit show. There is literally a million things that you could do or not do to piss someone off and a great relationship that you depend on can go right down the drain. But there is normally some time to fix things but that is when so many people do the wrong thing out of anger or other emotions and that relationship could end indefinitely. Or you do the right thing and get pass whatever happened and you become closer and understand one another better. This is just too complicated. “The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world” -Toni Collette I guess that why friendships and relationships at young ages are so complicated? Who knows, just blame it on the hormones. And not to be sexest or anything but why are girls friendships so petty and complicated!!! That I still don’t understand, but here is a great blog to look at if you care to venture into that scary subject. Relationships have so much of an effect on us. They can control our lives or our moods and even other relationships. They can lead us to great depression and misery and confusion or be the reason we overcome such things in our lives. On the other hand they can be the best thing in the world. Those people who you love so much and bring you so much happiness to your life can be the most important things in ones life. So many people take so many relationships that they have for granted, and that truly is one of the saddest facts. Such fragile things that can mean the world to us or be the end of our world. That's your choice. You chose if you are going to remain hateful. You chose to forgive or forget. You chose what to dwell on. You chose who is in your life. You might not always make the best decision at the time but you can chose to learn from those mistakes.
Relationships are an amazingly important thing for us. So take a while and look at yours, it could change your life. You have the power to change them for the better and worse. Use that power appropriately. Matthew F If us as a person only reflect off of self emotion then everything in life should be easy right? No, it is one of the most difficult things to do. You can try, try, and try but will never fully be able to see your full self. Emotions are what make a person a person doesn't matter how deep your emotion is for one thing it will always make you someone different than anyone else. A website for self reflection is https://www.unstuck.com/advice/ultimate-guide-successful-self-reflection/ it tells you how to easly reflect your self in varius ways. websites may not work, but if you want to self reflect by yourself there are very easy steps.
Personally I can't self reflect because if I try ,in the morning I feel different than I did yesterday. Every single day it’s the same I either feel really good or I feel like shit. I can’t even sit with anyone and have a genuine conversation without feeling like absolute crap. It’s really hard to live life with knowing your day will be crap. Everything that happens ruins the day Donovan R |
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