For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt as if the people around me in my life had things they expected from me. Whether it was school, sports, or extracurricular activities I always got the sense that I needed to go above and beyond the norm to show them who I was and my potential as a person. I still feel like this sometimes now. Being the second born child of 2 immigrants who came from poor backgrounds made these feelings of having to reach expectations even stronger, because if they successfully settled here with no more than 100$ dollars in their pockets 20 years ago then why shouldn’t I do something outstanding considering the platform they’ve given me from birth? Watching my older sister make my parents proud by achieving things in multiple areas in her life amplified the amount of effort I put in so that I could be at the same level as her. I played many sports like swimming, soccer and dance. I played the violin in an orchestra, took music theory lessons, joined school clubs, programs and anything else that I thought would meet other people's expectations. Doing all of these things for most of my childhood burned me out, I'm not going to lie. I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong but it was definitely a lot. But my coaches saw my effort in sports and praised me for it, my music teachers told me how talented of a musician I was, and my teachers at school would congratulate me on going above and beyond academically. What made me the happiest of all was when my parents would tell their family and friends back in their home country all of the things I was accomplishing here. They would tell my parents about how much they wished their kids could be able to do the things I was doing. This made me happy, because it made my parents proud of me as their daughter. I fully believed for so long that all of the things I was doing were expected of me, and that if I didn't do them I would leave others disappointed. Not until only around a year ago, I realized that I was doing so many things in my life for the approval of others and to meet high expectations that I thought would prove who I am as a person. I was faced with self conflict , because I didn't want to let my guard down and start to do some things in life for myself. I thought that it would make me look like a failure and a disappointment to those around me who thought I would continue this way forever. My parents always made sure to assure me that their number one wish was for me to be happy, and that everything else came second. I started to think about those words and changed a few things in my life that I knew would make a difference. I decided to start recognizing the things I was doing in life solely to gain the approval of others and drop them. It took some time of course because the structure of my life was essentially changing, but compared to a year ago I can confidently say I've progressed. I still do sports and activities I enjoy such as swimming and playing the violin, but the difference is that I do them for myself now. I’m not sure how many people can relate specifically to my blog, but if there’s one thing that I think whoever is reading this should take away, that would be to live life for yourself. Do things because you like doing them. Once you do, they will become all the more enjoyable. Aleyna K
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Overthinking, also known as rumination, occurs when you dwell on the same thought or situation over and over again to the point where it interrupts with your life. Overthinking usually falls into two categories: ruminating about the past or worrying about the future and lucky me, I fall into both categories. Overthinking is something we all do at some point. Everyone worries at least once in their life, overthinking doesn't necessarily mean when you overthink about your grades or future. When you compare your limits to someone else’s strengths, you are overthinking. When you obsess over someone else’s “irrational beliefs,” you are overthinking. When we overthink, we over plan and when we over plan, we overfill our life. I'm an overthinker, and there's no limit to how much I can think about. I think about the most irrelevant things, from the time I almost drowned when I was four to what my life will be like in 20 years. Overthinking has never come to me in a positive way; it is always related to bad or negative thoughts. I mean, who ever overthinks in a positive way? When asked what I should do in this situation, I was always told to "just don't think about it" or "do something to distract yourself." These words are easy to say but really hard to put into action. We are thinking all the time, and yet, we never think about how much time we spend thinking. That might sound like an addiction and if you relate, don't worry because you are not alone. When I eat too much, I would tell myself “I’m overeating, I need to eat less”. When I study too much, I would say “I’m dying, I need to stop studying”. But when I think too much, I can’t just say “I’m overthinking.” I need a different approach to unclog my brain. But the problem is that we don’t consider overthinking as a problem. When someone says that overthinking is bad, we often assume that only negative thoughts are wrong. And by that definition, it automatically means that positive thoughts are good. I think most of us agree that negative thoughts are related to Worrying, Complaining, Anger, Feeling sorry for yourself or Blaming others. Similarly, we can agree that trying to solve problems, Studying, Understanding knowledge, Planning, Visualization and Setting goals are positive thoughts. What most self-help advice says is, scrap the negative thoughts and double down on the positive thoughts. This might sound like good advice but the truth is that when you overuse your brain, just like a drain, it can get clogged. And this will result in Foggy thinking which leads to bad decision making. All that being said, how can you actually help yourself to think less? Researchers have found a 4 step process to stop overthinking..
Allow yourself to forget about yesterday and tomorrow. No matter how much you want to accomplish in the future, or how much you've suffered in the past, appreciate the fact that you are alive. Melina M What did our leadership class say? Our opinions matter. Fun is enjoyment, amusement or lighthearted pleasure. Something we don’t need to think about… it’s obvious. It is the way we experience play, being authentic, and belonging. It’s happening when we might not even realize it. Fun feels effortless and creates itself. It’s a feeling of goodness, spending your time doing something for the single reason: it brings joy. Fun fills you up with happiness, laughter, joy, adventure, and relaxation. It’s where you feel most comfortable and things just become easy. Fun is a good feeling. Imagine a time you had fun. Your fun can take shape in all different forms. It may be a time like “When I was growing up my friends and I…” Or “One summer my family and I…” Maybe it was something like “As a kid I once did this really stupid thing…” Regardless. Could you see these as times when you had fun? So why is fun so important? The boost of creativity, imagination, energy, and productivity you acquire are all results of fun! Have you ever been around a young child and been amazed at their curiosity, creativity and happiness? It starts to make you wonder how they are just so happy? The answer is easy, they are able to find fun in the tiniest things and appreciate them. Have you noticed, they get excited when they successfully jump over a puddle or get to go to McDonalds. To them it’s enough… they simply don’t need much to make their own fun. It is our balance in life… we need it to stay on track. Fun follows those who appreciate it. This is a lesson I personally had to learn. My parents decided to change my world. They said “we are moving to Tsawwassen” and you have to change schools. I was happy to move but disappointed that I was leaving all my friends behind. I love fun and I always had it. Fun was something I really didn’t have to think about and just came naturally. However, when I moved to a new school and didn’t know anybody I realized I had left more than just my friends behind. I left fun behind. I started to realise maybe I never really appreciated fun and took it for granted and I had to learn it the hard way. This made me realize how important people are. To me fun is hanging out with friends, laughing, sharing stories, not worrying about being judged, and feeling free. I don’t have the answer, and I am still trying to figure it out. In life we all have that next step. Maybe it’s going from high school to college/university. Or career jobs in environments with new people. One way or another, we will be expected to adapt, and find new ways to have fun. A couple of days ago I sent out “A Fun Survey” to find out where fun lives in all of your lives. The next day I woke up to a flood of responses and it went a little something like this: Kiana B
As a young kid, I had always loved and admired animals. Although I had never had a pet or any knowledge of how to care for one, I still adored them. Four years ago, I had gotten a horse to further my riding career as I fell in love with the sport. She was the first animal that I was ever responsible for. She helped me grow in so many aspects of my life from my confidence to my physical skills, and many things in between. Looking back on those years, it still astonishes me how much a fifteen hundred pound animal that doesn't speak English, can teach things I didn't realize about myself. It was only recently that I had finally, after years of asking, adopted my first puppy. I love him dearly, but having a dog is a lot of work. Work that pays off in the end. Two years ago when I was fourteen years old, I had read a flyer in a local coffee shop, looking for volunteers to help at a therapeutic riding association. One look at the title and I was instantly captivated until the fine print stated there was an age requirement of sixteen years old. Since then I couldn't wait till I turned sixteen to finally volunteer here. But of course, we are living in a covid era. Who would have thought? Anyway, I applied to volunteer at the same place I had seen the flyer back during the holiday break and was stoked to start which was postponed until later this year. The big factor that influenced this decision years ago was that this equine therapeutic association was created for kids with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. The amount of power a horse could have to teach these kids to not only learn about the animal itself but to grow and learn about themselves. For these kids, horses teach them physical, psychological, social skills that other activities can not. I continue to love volunteering here, learning each story of the kids that ride here inspires me. This is the website where I volunteer, for more information on therapeutic riding, visit this page. Physical benefits can include:
Here are four of ten things many different animals can teach us about being human according to Psychology today:
My experiences with working with many different animals and people have taught me more about them and even more about myself. As Well as volunteering with animals and people alike, learning from animals can teach us about the ways of being human that we can forget at times. Madison |
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