I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider; someone that just doesn’t quite fit in with the crowd. I think that a lot of teens can probably relate to me in feeling this way, and if you are at all like me, I'm sure you have tried to figure out why. Personally, I think it's because I’m mature for my age, so much so that I’ve been told I’m an old soul (there’s a reason I’ve been misidentified as a teacher by more than one substitute). I think this “old soul” label perfectly describes me, including the fact that my best friend is probably my Nana, and sometimes it scares both her and I that we are so much alike. I believe that for me, this also has to do with my values. While I think that technology is a great thing and that the future generations are going to do incredible things with it, I also think that there is a lot of room for improvement, specifically, things that we can take from generations past. There are some things in life that just aren’t being learned anymore, many of which are things that can’t be taught in school. If you read the title of this blog post, you might know where I’m going with this, and I’m sorry for the long winded intro. Anyways, I think one of these long lost arts, not being taught, or even really valued, is people skills and the ability to have and hold a conversation. Sure, yes, we can all talk, but that’s not quite what I mean. What I’m getting at here is the ability to hold a conversation with anyone - strangers, bosses, colleagues, friends, grandparents, and how these conversations can affect both yourself and others. Have you ever met someone whom you instantly just clicked with? The day you meet and first talk to each other, you can both instantly have things to talk about and go on and on about? You understand them, and they understand you, sometimes almost as if they are in your head. I love when I meet someone like this, and in particular, my relationship with one of my best friends is like this; the same day we met we talked for numerous hours with no shortage of things to talk about. These kinds of experiences bring us happiness and joy, make us feel valued, important and like we’re not alone. Being an outgoing extrovert, conversations with others give me joy! I especially like when those conversations are meaningful and personal, such as when someone goes above and beyond in answering how their day is going, and shares something more personal, or the brutally honest stuff. Even a simple question or comment from a stranger brings me joy. Sometimes, if I’m feeling frustrated or upset, having a face to face conversation can make my mood totally turn around and help me see the good and positivity in my day. Often those random conversations are the highlight of my day and my daily gratitude takeaway. Being brutally honest, I struggle to have these conversations with many other teenagers. Often I feel like too many of those conversations, if I have them at all, are bland and surface level. When it comes to technology, sometimes the very thing that was created to bring each other closer together (technology, social media, and other communication apps) only creates a bigger wall that we have to break down to truly have these deep conversations. As much as I love that technology is bringing us together, it only makes it easier to see, hear, or communicate with one another. It doesn’t build these personal relationships for us. Personally, talking over the phone or messaging someone through Instagram or Snapchat just doesn’t feel the same. Because of our current situation of quarantining and social distancing due to Covid-19, we’ve had to learn how to use technology as our only connection to keep personal relationships going and to stay connected with one another. The first time I learned to use Zoom, I felt like I only missed that person more after seeing their face and talking to them through a computer. It just wasn’t the same. We’ve all had to learn and adapt during this time, but communication using technology would never be my first choice. If I did have a choice, I would way rather go up and talk to you. I don’t know about you, but I really miss these in-person conversations. I hope that this time during Covid-19 has helped society (and each individual person) see what the world is like communicating from behind a screen and that we should never again take face-to-face conversations and personal connections for granted. Olivia K
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About 3 months ago I endured a rather traumatic breakup that did and still does affect me everyday. No, it wasn't my own breakup. My older brother Jack decided to break up with his girlfriend, Mihaela, after almost 4 years of dating with only one break in the middle of their relationship. To this this day she is the most caring, hard working and selfless person I have ever met, so it’s not hard to see why over the years she became my best friend and still is. Mihaela is a year older that Jack so she graduated a few years ago. The day she graduated was the same day that her parents and 2 sisters moved to the island without her. She was starting at SFU that fall but had nowhere to live for the entire summer so she came to live with us. For the next 3 years she lived with us on and off and the longest I wouldn't see her was about a week, but usually she would be over every couple of days. After the break up I didn't see her for over 3 months, and the first month I really didn’t respond well. I was in a constant depressed state, didn’t want to do anything, and my relationship with Jack was damaged because I blamed him for the whole ordeal. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up but I really wanted to talk about it because things became awkward and I knew that Jack wanted to talk about it as well. I decided to look up how to bring up tough conversations and I came across this blog that I used for help because I really didn’t want to mess up my relationship with my brother. So one night when the opportunity presented itself, we ended up having a long and really nice conversation- one of the best and most impactful conversations I can remember ever having with him. I realised that this conversation was needed and the end result was better than I expected, we’re a lot closer and I can now get to know Jack’s new girlfriend without feeling guilty or mad. “Real talk” will come up in everybody's lives multiple times for different reasons, so it’s better to be prepared than to not know what the hell to do. “Fake it till you make it” won’t always work, especially when it involves important relationships. When one of these inevitable conversations comes up, here are some tips to help you through it:
In the end, you can’t control the other person’s behavior and how they’re going to act but you can control yourself and hopefully improve the situation by considering what you want to do. Ultimately, if this person is really important to you, like how my brother is to me, you don't want to lose them in any way so having these conversations are necessary. Not addressing a situation can get really awkward and end badly, so might as well keep it real and talk about it. Georgia F |
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