Social connections are for people. However, with all friendships and relationships we make, many emotions come along with it including the feeling of “missing”. The official definition from Google for the word missing is, “not present; absent or lost”. But why do we even feel the emotion of missing? When we miss someone, it means that we really care about them and value them. You can miss someone for many different reasons. Maybe, you miss someone who passed away, someone who was once a close friend, or simply someone who has moved away. I am an international student visiting from Frankfurt, Germany. I said good bye to my family, my friends and my dog. I wanted to come to Canada to experience new things and create new memories. Here I have found new friends and a wonderful second family. Despite all the good, there is still a huge part missing. Not having certain special people in your life can hurt or can even make you feel empty. It feels like a part of you is lost or stuck somewhere else. Sometimes it is a constant feeling (especially when the "wounds" are fresh) and sometimes the emotion comes in unexpected waves. It can be triggered by simple things like food, songs, smells, or other random things that reminds us of this person. It is not just a feeling or something in your head, it is also expressed physically. You can get headaches or stomach pains easily, or maybe you just feel exhausted. You can have sleep problems, and your thoughts keep you awake, or you do not have the energy or motivation to get up and experience the day without this person. Missing someone can also affect your appetite or your ability to concentrate. For me personally, it also feels like a huge weight on my shoulders and pressure on my heart. Furthermore, scientists proved that the resulting stress reduces the immune system functions which means you can get sick easier. It is okay to feel all this emotion, and it is not a bad thing at all. It shows how important this person is to you and that you want to have them in your life. This is actually a beautiful thing.
Even though, it is important to accept this feeling and not push it away, you should try not to get hung up on it. It does not mean you should not think about them, recall memories or talk to them, if that is even possible. However, it is important to not overthink or drown in memories because the goal is to feel better, and not to feel hurt or sad. You can try out new things, get distracted and meet new people. You can also write them a letter; tell them you miss them or meditate. I would recommend talking about this emotion with someone. Sharing feelings, helps me personally to take some weight off my shoulders. And most importantly: always remember this feeling of “missing” will not last forever! Laetitia
13 Comments
When I think about traveling the first thing that comes to my mind are the family vacations in Europe my family does every year as long as I can remember. I associate summer with going to Italy or France, Winter with skiing in Austria or Switzerland and Fall with staying at the German coast. But what does traveling really mean to me? What does traveling mean to all of us? Nowadays I think traveling is often seen as something „Insta worthy“, it didn’t happen if it isn’t uploaded on Instagram. And of course I do this too. I do post my travel pictures for my friends to see and I love to look at their’s but I still feel like sometimes we should take a step back and think about why we are actually traveling and what benefits it brings to ourselves. We are not traveling for anyone else right? Traveling actually affects our mental health in a very positive way as explained in this article (insert link here). By breaking out of our routine our brains get to rest but not too much. They are still challenged by all the new impressions, food, music etc. we see everyday when we are in a different country or even just in a different city. Our brains get challenged in a good way and at the same time we are getting some rest. While traveling we can learn a lot about different cultures. My family went to Italy during summer when I was about eight years old and I remember having to go into literally every museum, church or monument. At that young age my parents often had to win me and my sister over with some ice cream to get us into the next attraction or on the next walk through the old cities. But I also remember that we started talking about the artists and the buildings I saw that year a couple years later in school. And I remembered a lot more about it than I expected. The older I got the more interested in other cultures I got and I was looking forward more and more to our family vacations and not only because of the ice cream, but because of all the different impressions I got and all the new things I tried and saw. It was pure excitement and it still is. Whenever we travel to a new place we get to experience so many new things. And not just that, we can also get to know new people, maybe even find new friends. And that’s, in my view, the best part about traveling. Traveling must not always be expensive. I feel like when you’re traveling on a budget, your experiences can sometimes even be better. My cousin made an Interrail Trip through Europe this summer, he stayed in cheap hostels, spend a lot of time in trains and even had a rat in his room in Paris, but when he came back at the end of summer, he told everyone that it had been the best trip of his life. He travelled with two of his friends, but they got to know many new people, they are still in touch with. I had a similar experience a few months ago. I travelled to the German coast and stayed in a really tiny village with five of my friends and even though the time we spend in multiple trains and busses nearly felt as long as the time we actually stayed at the little house and there was literally nothing going on in the village the whole weekend, it was one of the best vacations of my life. I had so much fun with my friends, we talked to the local people, walked along the beach and just had a great time breaking out of our routines. The relaxed and happy feeling most people develop while traveling can last up to five weeks after returning from your holidays. So I can only encourage everyone to go and see the world. Or even just your own country. Sometimes it only takes a two hour car ride to spend and amazing time with your friends or to make new friends. There is so much to see in the world, so much to experience and I don’t want to miss out on any of this. I am really thankful for everything I have already seen in the world and I am exited to see so much more.
Lina K For more on this subject: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/how-travel-affects-mental-health It is safe to say that everyone complains at least once a day. It’s human nature to seek more than we are given; to some extreme, this quality embedded in us creates deep greed. Everyone wants private yachts and Bentleys, even if they have perfectly functioning Kia cars and comfy economy plus seats on a plane. People tend to get so caught up in the whelm of materialism that has been brought upon most first world countries, that they get blindsided from the simple stuff that they should be more than grateful for. A memory foam mattress and pillow, along with a plush blanket and central heating on a chilly winter night is a privilege that we are granted on a daily basis, though seem to regard as normalcy and a life dependent necessity. The disregarding of such privileges demonstrates how UNGRATEFUL we are for all that we have. I guess the emphasis put on the fact that kids are starving in Africa is not enough for us to value the luxurious lives that we live in comparison to millions. Last month, I traveled to Ludhiana, Punjab, located in the northern India, to volunteer at a hospital. I had only traveled to India a few times prior to this trip, and hadn’t traveled to this particular city in over a decade. When you google the city “Ludhiana,” you will find that it is the largest industrial city in the state of Punjab. As expected the architecture and the overall city development was sub-par to a western city. I arrived at the hospital and found it to be a safe and clean medical institution that put holistic patient care before money. What made me reflective of the luxurious life that I live were the patients whose cases I got to work on, and the families behind them. On my first day in the Paediatrics Unit, I got to meet Golu, a four year old patient who had a fever of 102 degrees F and a haemoglobin level of 1, which resulted in a low white blood cell count. After running a few tests, we discovered that he was anemic and had Thalassemia Major. Later that day, two residents and I spoke to his mother and got consent to complete a Bone Marrow Aspiration (a blood sampling procedure) through which we could run further tests and see if his disease was genetic. The mother carried Golu to the Procedure Room and waited directly outside the door with her younger daughter. Golu’s family was rural; his parents were illiterate and simply wanted us to do what we deemed fit to save their son. Over the days following the procedure, I would periodically check on Golu and track his progress; he appeared to be getting stronger everyday. On my last day at the hospital, word was that Golu was to soon be discharged. Alongside our attending, the residents and I met with Golu’s father to discuss his son’s recovery plan and discharge, also suggesting that his daughter complete a blood test to detect pre-Thalassemia. Thalassemia isn’t something that goes away on its own; it requires frequent blood transfusions, and to cure the disease, a bone marrow transplant is needed. Golu’s father admitted that the family didn’t have enough money for Golu’s extended procedures and the tests for his daughter, in fact, barely enough to pay the flat hospital fees. The next day, I got on a plane back to Vancouver and never found out what happened to Golu and his family. I constantly relive the time during Golu’s initial procedure when I sat with him listening to “the wheels on the bus” as an attempt to distract him from the procedure and stop his crying. The sad reality is that people can’t afford to treat their sick children, leave alone put them through school and provide them with three nutritious meals a day. Financial inability is the cause of many patients leaving the hospital untreated, having signed LAMA (Leaving Against Medical Advice) forms to be discharged so that the hospital would not be held accountable if anything was to happen to the patient beyond the facility. Due to illiteracy, many patients and their families were unable to comprehend that certain diseases were fatal. However, these patients would come into clinics and seek medication to take home instead of hospital admittance and treatment, because among the 28 million people living in the state of Punjab, almost 9% live below the poverty line. Patients would rather their diagnosis and a round of medication instead of scans and procedures because they couldn’t afford to put themselves up in a hospital. What this experience taught me was that you can build nicer malls and construct new highways, but in no way will this “development” help sick people that can’t afford medical treatment. Education is costly, especially in third world countries where it is less accessible. To get a sustainable job, you require an education. To pay your bills you need a job. How is a kid like Golu supposed to get an education, and later on find a job to support himself and his future family, when his household’s income is going entirely to not even fully funding his medical treatment? The cycle is never ending. Be grateful of what you have, because the vast majority of people in developing countries can barely make ends meet. Eliminate the materialism from society and reflect on the basic necessities that we take for granted every second of everyday, because kids like Golu can only dream of them. Janeva S Travelling is something that almost everyone loves. It’s an escape from reality whether it’s a business trip, week long getaway, or a school trip to the middle of nowhere, we love it. It’s no surprise that going somewhere is good for physical well being, but there is a significant amount of scientific research that shows travelling someplace new does amazing things for your mental and emotional health. Travelling somewhere is an amazing stress killer. The stress of our day to day life distracts us from what we find actually meaningful and interesting. Thus, when we take breaks and go on little adventures, it allows us to take a minute from the hustle and bustle which is essential for our mind to relax and recharge. Not only does travelling somewhere relieve stress, it allows us to reinvent ourselves. Being in a new, foreign place can help you re-evaluate and reinvent who we are as people. Walking down a new pathway has the ability to expand our mind in ways we never realized were possible. The Forbes Journal covers three other reasons why travelling can boost our mindset. For me, travelling is not always about seeing new places, but more about escaping the old ones that eventually have a negative impact on my life. Being in the same environment for too long can be dulling in my opinion. Walking the same way to school and work, living by the same schedule day in and day out drives me insane. Which is why I find travelling to be so magical. The most recent adventure I’ve been on was the school trip to Bamfield Marine Sciences Center. It’s a weekend trip to the middle of nowhere and I love it. The escape from life, (even for only three days) can brighten my frame of mind for months. It’s a form of self care that I thrive off of. One of society's biggest irony is how disconnected we feel despite the levels of connectivity we have with technology. The constant internet and phone use is burdensome and unplugging and going somewhere and indescribable health benefits. So taking a moment to escape from reality can be life changing.
Emma O |
Categories
|