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There are many aspects of confidence; I lack all of them. I always have and I sincerely hope that I’ll eventually acquire some tiny little morsel at the very least. The official definition of confidence is“A feeling of self- assurance arising from an appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities”. I’ve decided to narrow the big concept of “confidence” down to self-confidence. There are 3 main facets to self-confidence in my opinion, which are self- acceptance, self-esteem and self-efficacy: 1. Self-acceptance: To accept yourself you have to forgive your mistakes and faults whether its years ago or just yesterday. It is a human emotion to feel that we need to be “normal” but there are a few people who choose to be different and to be proud of their differences. Those people have accepted themselves and they’re generally happier, inspire other people and make a difference in the world. 2. Self-esteem: Self-esteem is all about your self-value and how important you think you are. Here is a list of important tips to keep in mind- ~ Don't over criticize yourself. ~ Reflect on your good qualities every day to remind yourself how great you are. ~ Set achievable goals and then achieve them at your own pace. ~ Remind yourself that there is no such thing as “perfect” and nobody has the right to expect you to be. ~ Accept your mistakes and move on, if you dwell on them it will only bring your self-esteem down. ~ Make an effort to be kind to the people surrounding you and who are in your life, you will view yourself as a nice person. ~ Don't compare yourself to other people. ~ Spend your time with supporting and loving people. Another approach to self-esteem is self-love; before loving anyone else, you have to love yourself. Many people strive to demonstrate their worth to other people such as their friends to get approval, but in my opinion you only have to approve and love yourself. If you feel the need to prove yourself to your friends then maybe they aren’t really good people to call “friends”. Some people may say that this is very selfish to love yourself before other people, and I don't completely disagree with that. There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness; you can love yourself but not too much love that you are self-centered. To make sure that you aren’t giving yourself too much love, check in with yourself every day. 3. Self-efficacy: Self-efficacy is your belief in your ability to succeed in or
achieve a specific goal/task. I think self-efficacy is very important because is you don’t believe that you can succeed then you will most likely not try. Self-efficacy and self-confidence are widely though to be the same thing, but in reality, as I mentioned previously, self-efficacy is the belief of your abilities that you will complete a specific task. Self-confidence is the overall belief that you will complete multiples tasks. Confidence is important because it impacts your successes and your happiness, and therefore you as a person. Self-acceptance, self-esteem and self-efficacy all are a big part of confidence and can help you grow as a person and improve your life. I’m not saying that everyone should be confident to have a good successful life, because some people just aren’t confident and that's ok. As long as you love yourself and you are happy with your life, you’ll be fine, although confidence and mainly self-confidence can improve your life and enrich your experiences. Just be happy. Georgia F The last time I was late to something it is because I spent 20 minutes "posting one thing" to social media. And that turned into an epic marathon of me tweetstorming facetagram. The bad news for me? People were waiting for me when I got there.
There are lots of things that are happening in our lives. All the time. Work, family, friends, that text message, social media, other peoples priorities, that other text message, oh and I have to feed my kids... and has anyone even seen the dog? Finding little things like this article (which you guys are reading as the third article today) Keep me grounded and remind me of things I already knew. Because I can tell you time and the school years may seem long now, but soon.... One large aspect that contributes to your everyday life is how approachable you appear to others. It can be the difference of getting the job or the gal across the room. Body language is a very big part of being approachable because it's the first thing someone will notice about you and their first impression of you. If you get up to walk over to someone and they see you, their first impression of you is going to be how you get up and walk over and the small things you may do before you do or say anything, verbally. The definition of approachable in the Oxford dictionary is “friendly and easy to talk to”. I however disagree with that definition. I believe to be approachable you must look it, because someone will not know if you are friendly and easy to talk to without having to approach you first. If you do not appear approachable for whatever reason, logically that person will probably not approach you. How to appear approachable. To appear approachable you must keep a few things in mind. In my opinion the five most important things to remember are; -Keeping an open posture. Keeping an open posture is important because it shown that you are comfortable and confident and people tent to find confidence attractive. -Smile! Smiling is important because it shows that you are happy and happy/smiley people are often nice people. -Eye contact. Eye contact says a lot about someone and is a great way to communicate even if you aren't thinking about it. People are more likely to approach you if you can keep a good amount of eye contact before it's creepy. Staring at someone for eternity is very creepy but small amounts of eye contact is good and indicates you want to talk. -Confidence. This one is a little harder for some because there is a fine line, that is not as easily seen by all, between being confident and being cocky. -Be accessible. Don't have your face in your phone all time/be there. Back to body language. Body language is one of the most essential components when it comes to approachability, it is how people get their first impression of you. It shows how you feel and says lots about you without you trying. Or it is that you wish to appear a certain way, say professional, in a way you can use your body language to lie and appear one way to one person or an entire group.
Personally I have almost none of these traits but I do try and remember to not always look mad or sad, I have to say that the hardest thing for me to do is smile. I have found this challenging as I do not like interacting with many people and do not like expressing myself. But for the sake of not being a pompous sullen jerk, I try. I would like to say that I honestly work on making eye contact, smiling, being confident, etc. all the time but i'm just not that kind of person and you may not be either. But if you try hard enough, you can be. Matthew F I know what it’s like standing in a room packed with people that you have NEVER seen before. You immediately freeze up; your palms get sweaty, and your brain starts looping. This is what being nervous resembles… You are nervous because you are shy, and you are shy because you are lacking confidence! Let’s explore some reasons as to why you are shy, and how you can become more confident! Shyness (or being shy) is defined as quote Google, “being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people.” Now, let’s break this down into some terminology that is easily comprehensible: Being shy simply means that you get a little nervous around new people. Certain individuals also suffer from anxiety, which is defined as being worried about future events. An example that ties into all three of these interconnected characteristics is stage fright; this doesn’t have to necessarily be the fear of taking and performing on stage. This classifies as day to day presentations, and even putting your hand up to answer a question in class, meetings, and even seminars. It is the fear that is pushed on your back when everyone’s attention is diverted to YOU. Once again, this ties back to being nervous around people that you don’t know. As Stefan from Project Life Mastery covers briefly in his video on how to overcome anxiety, fear and being self-concious may cause you to be shy, limiting one’s comfort zone. Though comfort zones can leave you feeling left out in certain situations, they do heavily contribute to your safety and reassurance, but only in your mind. Stefan touches on the fact that he was a shy child; he would sit in his room all alone, investing his valuable time in playing video games because his fear of interaction held him back. Today, he has overcome that fear by putting his personal feelings and psychological setbacks aside, and simply putting himself out there in this immense world. I fully agree that it is tough to take a step in a direction that you may not be familiar or comfortable with, but once you take it, you simply keep going. Even a simple “hello” to someone on the street, or starting small talk with a classmate that you have never spoken with. This will not only contribute to your overcoming, but also to others that may be in the same boat as you. I recently attended a youth council meeting for my school district, at which several students from schools all across the district were present. Being new to the council and one of the youngest students there, I was, to an extent, freaking out! Not literally, but I did keep myself very reserved and I felt that I did not contribute to the discussion as much I would have liked to. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the ideas circling through my brain, but I was deficient in the lack of my confidence and courage that was needed to raise my hand and speak my mind with the spotlight on me. Over the years, I have become less and less shy, as my pursuits do not allow me to stay under the radar and get away without contribution; therefore, I had to push through the sweat,the “ums” and “ahs,” and simply give myself power. Every time I spoke in front of people, I got better and better. From simple class presentations, to district speech competitions, to council meetings, and even speaking to people at a national level - I have been in a great deal of situations. This does not mean that I am an expert and that I am not shy at all; I still go through the common anxiety before speaking, but from all the practice, once I get up there and utter my first few words, I feel the confidence that I never thought I would - and all it took was one step in that forbidden direction. That forbidden step is one that is discussed by Lori Deschene from the Tiny Buddha in 8 ways to be more confident ; if the effort is not made, you will not see results. You can stay the way you are, afraid of failure and embarrassment, or you can defy all odds, and strive to the other side of the spectrum. It may be a rocky road, but how else are you supposed to learn and gain experience? Confidence isn’t something will come to you instantly; you have to work for it and dedicate yourself. It all depends on your drive and willingness to achieve success. Now get up: Think of the future, your dreams, goals, and aspirations. What do you want most? Take for instance Darren Hardy, who in his video The 3x Philosophy, mentors viewers to take their goals and multiply them by three. He essentially wants individuals to think BIG, because the most difficult component of all this is taking that first initial step - after that, it’s a piece of cake to continue because you will already be on the road to success. It’s all about putting yourself out there… Are you willing to sacrifice a little? If yes, your confidence will come naturally! Janeva S Have you ever been that kind of situation that you decide to do something but you just find something more fun so you decide to put your work aside. The consequence is you spend time on your “fun” activities for a long time and when you near to the deadline you realized that you actually did nothing in the past of time. You might even feel self-condemned because you wasted your time to play and your work is still not done. This is what people often called the procrastination and I believe that most people have this problem. Although I do not want to admit but I really is this kind of person, so I talk to my self and warn myself that I need to change. Now I am going to tell you what are the effective ways to break this bad habit. First you need to know: What is procrastination? “Procrastination is the practice of carrying out less urgent tasks in preference to more urgent ones, or doing more pleasurable things in place of less pleasurable ones, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time. In order for a behavior to be classified as procrastination: it must be counterproductive, needless, and delaying.” Second we need to make sure: Why people will have procrastination? I had read a lot of articles about this question and the answer can be anything. Someone think they don’t have motivation to do it so they put to the deadline. Someone think they still have a lot of time so they choose to start later... But procrastinators are made not born it cuts across all domains of their life. Finally I made a summary: I found a suitable reason why people have this bad habit is actually attributed to the lack of self- control. The self-control ability is a person to control their own feelings and behavior. One of the fundamental points of the distinction between animals is that people are thoughtful, so that they can control their feelings and actions sensibly according to certain purposes. So when you lack the ability to control yourself your own behavior will not listen to your brain. Give a very simple example when you know that you have a work need to be handed in tomorrow, and you start thinking about to doing your homework. But you know your favorite TV program is start you know you shouldn’t watch but you can’t say no to that. When you sit down to put your attention on the TV you actually have no power to stop it anymore. The fact is if you just going to do your work and you have nice work done you can still have time to watch your TV program. The point is here we should figure out how can we say no to those enticement and how can we develop our ability on self-control especially the way to get rid of procrastination. The ways to deal it is actually not hard at all. The key to get rid of procrastination is a small change (the first step) that can bring big changes. I give an example to illustrate: in the winter morning to get up is hard but if you just sit up and pick up your clothes in that moment you will put your other clothes on immediately and you won’t just stay at your bed and play in your phone until the last minute of the school. You just need to push you self a little bit and persuade yourself to take the first step , in your subconscious you have changed your mind (you do not realize) so during this time you subconsciously think that you do not delay anymore and you will have impulse to keep doing. As long as you insist on every day to convince myself to take this small step, after some days you can develop the habit of doing things on time. Then you do not need to worry about the procrastination anymore. When you really doing this way, you are more close to be a better person.
Jennifer C Today’s world has conditioned many of us {especially our technological ones } to believe we can instantly have whatever we want, however we want it, whenever we want it, right now! From lightning fast internet speeds to the instant downloading of movies and books, everything is either available now or within milliseconds. Unfortunately, success isn’t available on demand or instantly downloadable. for most of us we have to work hard and put lots of time and effort into it. Author Malcolm Gladwell once said it takes roughly ten thousand hours to master anything and personally I believe that that's what it takes to be the best at something. But if you just want to be good at something it takes a lot of practice still to get to that level, some people are gifted in this area and go on to be great athletes and go to the olympics sometimes. Everyone needs an inspirational leader to follow. The world is overflowing with information. The world is dying for inspiration. This is why it is so important for leaders to be a breath of fresh air each time they enter a room. Robert Greene said “Mastery is not a question for genetics of luck, but of following your natural inclinations and the deep desires that stirs from within.” I agree in every way with what he says, true mastery comes from within. Balance in life is key because if you don't have balance you fall down. Balance can keep you in line with life balance isn't just walking in a straight line or staying upright in your boat, it also is within you, it helps you think, it helps you stay focused, and it helps with working. The way it helps you is by keeping your mind on the task at hand. Mastery and balance are key in being a great leader. Balance helps when you are in a tough situation and keeps you calm and thinking of ideas. Mastery helps by mastering the art of being a good role model and responsibility helps you show up and and be the person that all the people following you want to be, they want you to be yourself. These will help either in leadership roles stepping up in a time of crisis or leading a business. There are many uses for mastery of certain things and balance like when someone is injured and you are the one who remains calm and helps the person get to the hospital. mastery and balance are like climbing a mountains. You need to know where to go, know where you are and patients to get to the top. Some examples I have of mastery and balance are from Julius Caesar and one of his quotes “experience is the teacher of all things” This quote just goes to say that it takes time to be the best and Julius Caesar became the best at what he did by learning over time and experiencing things through time and knowledge. Another example of mastery and balance are from Abraham Lincoln when he said “ You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” This quote shows mastery and balance because he says that deception can only last so long and if you try and fool everyone, someone is bound to find out about it. It also shows great leadership by not trying to deceive the people of America but tell them what could happen if someone was to lie to all of them he would inform them of that and that he would not keep secrets from his great country. They all have the same thing in common, they all were great leaders and had balance within them.
Jacob E (Image:Tyler Lastovich) “Does the perfect person exist in the world?” This is the question that I got from my younger sister, when she was only 8 years old. I couldn’t answer her question because I always thought that a person who has strong self-esteem is a perfect person. However, it is really hard to define who’s perfect, and who’s not based only on self-esteem. Self-esteem and Standard of a Perfect Life What is self-esteem ? According to the Oxford dictionary, the definition of ‘ self-esteem ’ is “ confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect ”. Also, "Esteem" is derived from the Latin aestimare, meaning "to appraise, value, rate, estimate". Then how can we improve our Self-esteem? 1. Be positive, and be generous to yourself 2. Everyone make mistakes, at least once in their lifetime, so don’t reproach yourself for making one mistake. 3. Challenge yourself, and deal with the problems, or things that require your flaws’ to improve 4. Spend more time with supportive people 5. Try to focus on the things that makes you feel better and confident Personal Reflection Personally, I lack self-confidence, or self-esteem. I still hesitate a lot when I have to face problems that I’ve never faced before. In addition, I had to get through the racial discrimination. For example, when I was in grade 8, I felt different from the majority of the classmates because I was the only international student. All of these things made me feel small and useless. These things made me think that a person who has strong self-esteem is the ‘perfect person’, and I admired my friends who were more confident about themselves than me. Then, my mom suggested I read one book, which was, ‘Self Respect Lesson’, by Yoon Hong Kyun. Yoon Hong Kyun is a Doctor of Humanities, who wrote a lot of books that are related to Humanities and self-respect. In the novel, he says that everyone has their own flaws, and we don’t have to be self-conscious from the others. He mentioned that we have to know how to love ourselves, including our flaws. Furthermore, he says that there’s no standard for ‘perfection’. After I read this book, I suddenly realized that I spent too much time thinking about the things that are inefficient, that make me feel bad, and result in making me feel like a small person. After that book, I started to focus on the positive things, and take the focus off the negative. (Image: Julian Jagtenberg)
About the perfection These days, people are getting many information from the internet or social media. However the fault of the information on the internet is that it is repleted with the unproved (manipulated) information. Also, the pictures of celebrities or influencers on the social media easily affect many people to get a fixed definition of what is an ideal life. Perfection does not exist, and it is just a standard that people made by their own perspectives. No one can be perfect at everything. So challenge yourself, and don't compare yourself with the ‘perfect’ standard that you have made. “A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.” - May Sarton There’s no standard for the perfect person, and no one can be perfect at everything. Therefore, be generous to your, and the others’ mistakes. Myongseo S Video related to Self-esteem Video related to Ending the pursuit of Perfection |
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