I once heard an analogy that really gave me perspective on what values I should live by and what my life should consist of. It went like this… “You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you or shakes your arm, making you spill your coffee everywhere. Why did you spill the coffee? "Well because someone bumped into me, of course!" Wrong answer. You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea in the cup, you would have spilled tea. Whatever is inside the cup, is what will spill out. Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which WILL happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It's easy to fake it, until you get rattled. So we have to ask ourselves... "what's in my cup?" When life gets tough, what spills over? Joy, gratefulness, peace and humility? Or anger, bitterness, harsh words and reactions? You choose!” When I read that I really had to begin to ask myself, “what am I filling my cup with”. Especially with coffee, when spilt it leaves a stain and is difficult to clean up, so if I fill my life with anger, grudges, and hurtful words, when life shakes me it will leave a stain on the lives around me and those I have affected. It is difficult sometimes to clean up your mess when it spills. This analogy has helped me gain perspective on how I want my life to impact others. If i want others to be impacted positively by my words and actions, I must fill my life with positivity. Some people struggle with understanding how to make that change in their lives. Here are some ways that may help you gain positivity in your life that will then pour out onto those around you. Like a new years resolution, incorporating new habits or adapting to a different lifestyle and way of living can be difficult if not sometimes extremely difficult. Keeping up a positive and strong persona can sometimes become very difficult. Learning how to focus on the good things rather than emphasizing the small negative things is super important in maintaining a healthy relationship with yourself. There is that saying that says “to love others you must love yourself first”, to be able to have a positive affect on others, you must have a positive attitude with yourself and grow as an individual in these areas so that it may spread to those around you. To quote a video that gave me inspiration for this blog it says “the effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is”. So what is in your heart? Do you hold onto the hardship in your life, do you focus on the small negative things that are not going to matter at the end of the day, or do you delight in focusing on the good? How do your actions and words make an impact in the lives of others? What is in your heart will spill out onto others. People won’t remember all of your success, they will remember you by the way you made them feel and the impact you had on their life. What impact do you want to make?
I challenge you and encourage you to think about what your cup is filled with right now. Love? Hurt? Pain? Positivity? Then compare it to what you want your cup to be filled with. Next, I challenge you to think of ways in which you’re able to make small changes to either remove or incorporate new values into your life. You will notice these changes in the way that you interact with others and the impression and impact they gain from you! Continue being a light in the lives of others! Emily C
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If you found your friend tripped over in the middle of the hallway at school, or if you saw old women walking with a heavy bag, you would go up to them and offer help? When someone close to you is in difficult situation and seeking help, you will at least listen to he/she. You are kind. But why should we be kind to others? One of the reason is simply because you will feel better and improve self-esteem due to your action. Or it might be because “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle” which Plato once said. Kindness is in the cycle, if you be kind to someone, that someone would be kind to you. Then let’s see what you would say If you tripped over in the hallway at school, you would probably go like “I’m stupid, hope nobody saw that”. Once I was practicing the piano for the recital, I made mistakes with the same part over and over again, I was so tired of myself, and “Why do I keep making the same mistake? Why can’t I even do this easy simple stuff?”. When something bad happens, we blame ourselves. This is not only because of my lack of self-confidence, but because I am hard on myself. Not being strict, being mean. Sometimes people are required to be mean to urge to sacrifice yourself in order to make better results. However, we tend to be too mean at times. If the person tripped over was others than you, you won’t talk to them in the way you reacted to yourself. Why can’t we be kind to ourselves when we can to others? Being kind to yourself is one of the most important step of self care, but how should one take care of themself? Briefly, I believe it is “to cherish your feeling and thoughts, and interests”. Your feelings and thoughts are the things you want to value the most, otherwise how could people don’t live their lives be kind to others? If you could not value yourself, you would feel like you need somebody you can rely on or wait until something special happens to make you feel accepted enough. But you don’t want to be like that. You want to be able to value yourself on your own. In real life, it is difficult to value and take care of yourself when the society and outside world are often times telling us to be strict to self, and kind to others. So the steps below might help!
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