When I was young I had a pretty bad experience in my early elementary years. First day of Kindergarten I made my first friend at school, and that’s the beginning of everything, my earliest memories of school. She was a girl in my class, who would severely bully me. She wouldn’t let me speak to other people and if I did she would scream and swear in my face. She would say really terrible things about my family that I probably should not repeat, my mom even called her a stalker. It got so bad to the point where at the age of 8 I would have panic attacks every morning before school. Back then I was really young and I didn’t know how to stand up for myself so I would just let it happen. This went on for 5 years (K-5). After that experience I had not really had a bad friend until grade 10, I became friends with this one boy, I am just going to call him Carter. Carter and I became close very quickly to the point that we would talk everyday, all day and he knew every little detail about me. He was my biggest supporter especially when I went through my first heartbreak, he always managed to cheer me up and boost my confidence. He was always there for me to talk about anything. It honestly was great for a while, I even became close with his other friends and he became close with some of mine and we were a big friend group. We all went out together many times to different places, hung out at eachothers houses and it was super fun honestly. Unfortunately that didn’t last for long, Carter started to change. His ego grew very large to the point it was insufferable to be around. He also started to put us girls down so much and so often, for example “as a joke” he would literally tell me to kill myself so frequent that it would make me cry every night. He would make comments on my appearance, my interests, my personality. It was quite damaging to my self esteem, especially for a friend to say that everyday. He overall just acted like him and the other boys were just more important and above us girls and it really pissed me off. The other boys too would just sit there and do nothing to help us. They knew what was going on but they would just support Carter. When I started dating my boyfriend, I was still friends with them and they genuinely bullied him, calling him physically abusive to his face (which was a lie they literally just made up), making fun of the way he looks, calling him mean nicknames. To the point it made me so angry I hung out with them less, it mainly really was just Carter that was the meanest but they all supported him as usual. They all just worshiped him like he was this god or something and then all the boys just ghosted all the girls. I must say I do miss Carter from time to time but without him in my life it was as if this huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Soon after that they found some new editions to their friend group and what other people would tell me is that they told their new friends that we girls did something so unforgivable and so awful to the point that they couldn’t be around us anymore. The thing is though, he never said why, never said what we allegedly did. Those boys are still friends currently, they will laugh at me on the bus, give me death stares in the halls, two of them even sent me a lovely candy cane gram saying “I miss you” on it:) and they all just refuse to talk to make amends, it's just silence. The worst thing though, one of the boys did something so gross and everyone knew it was wrong and they still supported him, said gross things about women in support of him and just made me lose any tiny amount of respect I had left. To some, this may all just be petty drama, which it is but honestly it has taught me so much about the kind of people I choose to be around, before I would let people walk all over me and I would give chance after chance until it would completely drain me. Even if you have been friends with someone for a while isn’t a good enough reason to stay their friend if they treat you badly. No one deserves to be treated badly by a friend or a significant other especially if all you did was care for them. I have learned from my mistakes and I hope in the future I will not encounter something like that again.
Sarah.S
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Personally, 2017 was a mediocre year for me. Held some good and some bad memories from the best trips to heartbreak. How did 2017 treat you? Oh wait... that’s is the wrong way to put your past year into perspective. How about, how did YOU treat 2017? Instead of treating life like it’s acting against you, treat it like it is acting for you. Instead of thinking to yourself “Why me?” Think in the way of “Everything happens for a reason & this is a learning lesson for me.” Hard things in life become a lot easier to deal with when you start to put a positive outlook on it. In 2018 I have set goals for myself which as most people would say is the predictable, New Years Resolution. Most people would also say “What is the point in waiting till the new year to set goals?” In my opinion I think that, yes set goals whenever, but the nice thing about New Years is the fresh start. New Year’s resolutions can vary from drinking less starbucks to focusing on your friendships.
For me to realize that each day can hold ups and downs is an encouragement to not dwell on the little things. Wake up each morning with a healthy mindset and to not stress about what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow. Moving on from the bad days becomes a lot easier when you have friends surrounding you. Friendships is one of the most crucial aspects to being happy and having a good year. Here are seven qualities to having a successful friendship in 2018.
Not only is having your best self and best friendships important but so are setting healthy boundaries with any type of relationship important too. People will treat you the way you demand to be treated. Here are 10 ways to set healthy boundaries.
People are going to walk all over you if you let them, people will lie to you if you let them. Just remember it’s up to YOU on how you demand to be treated. In 2018 my resolution is to stop pointing the fingers at other people but for myself to reflect on my contribution to the situation.
Ella M |
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