“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice." -Steve Jobs I never liked dresses, dolls, ballet classes or what little girls are supposedly supposed to like or do. I have always played multiple sports, been a total book nerd, lived in jeans and the extent of my dancing is swaying side to side snapping or sometimes spontaneous square dancing with anybody who’s unfortunate enough to be around me. So naturally, life has served me plenty of identity crisis moments and I’m sure there will be a copious amount to come in the future. The first minor identity crisis was when I was 13 years old. Let me set the scene. It was the end of grade 7 and the graduating class of 2015 was celebrating our completion of elementary school and the upcoming progression to high school. I remember asking all the girls what they were going to wear to the awards ceremony and the dance; dresses or pretty skirts were described, accompanied with cute shoes and maybe a purse. I didn’t own a dress, nor did I have a skirt or purse. At this point my life I was at the peak of my Adidas warm-up pants/runners/athletic shirt combo and wouldn’t have been caught dead in any kind of shoes other than converse or runners. The dance was of course fancy dress but I had pleaded with my mum multiple times over the course of weeks if I could wear jeans and a nice top. Long story short I ended up wearing a dress. I remember crying on the way to the ceremony and hating every time I had to cross my legs because of the stupid flowery dress. I felt ugly and sad because I didn’t feel comfortable and didn’t want to wear what everyone else was wearing. The Merriam-Webster dictionary’s definition of identity crisis is “personal psychosocial conflict especially in adolescence that involves confusion about one’s role and often a sense of loss of continuity to one’s personality”. Most people experience their first identity crisis in their teens generally revolving around their personality, social status, gender role physical appearance and many other things. Personally, my identity crisis was that I was so confused about why I was so different to kids my age, I never wanted to talk about it so I stayed quiet about my feeling of isolation and continued on with my life. For a long time I wanted to pretend to be someone I wasn't in order to fit in and I was having a lot of trouble with my identity. Flash forward to now and I’m happy and comfortable with my quirky personality and I like being different. Here is a website that I remember reading and sometimes I look back at if I just to check in with myself. It's important to know that going through a period in your life where you are uncertain of yourself, your worth or your identity is normal, but it's also important find help concerning your situation. Here are some tips for dealing with an identity crisis, especially during adolescence.
I regret not opening up sooner about my state of very low self-esteem, because I’m sure that talking to somebody would have helped me feel less alone. And so, if you don’t like dresses, dolls or ballet classes then that’s ok, just figure out what you do like and love yourself unconditionally.
Georgia F
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Great work is never done by one person alone. Do you ever feel like you work so hard, yet you consistently end up with the same results that are simply satisfactory? I know the feeling. Why is it that when you work in groups on a project, it is not always a fair collective effort, as in everyone puts in the same amount of work? For instance, when I work in a group, I feel that I put in tons of more effort than some of my other group members. Part of the problem is that I have now made these members dependant on me to get the job done simply because I stood up and took a leadership position. However, often times group members are willing to put in the same amount of effort as I am, though, having taken a leadership, I may not be giving the members tasks to be efficient as a whole. Eventually, the project would be done to a superior level of quality in half the time it would have taken me if I had done it solo. This is the ART OF DELEGATION. “Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results,” George S. Patterson once said (5). Delegation is the strategy of breaking up and dividing tasks to be distributed to group members for the completion of an overall project. For instance, if your class is assigned a history project and your group must pick five events to analyse and discuss in paragraph format. Your group has four members; for all the mathematicians out there, five tasks cannot be divided evenly by four people. In this case, you must put your thinking cap back on and strategize (another leadership skill that is super beneficial)! There is a way to work around every obstacle; you could delegate one task to each group member and split the fifth five ways. You are probably wondering, “how can one task be split up into five parts?” Once again, another obstacle that a leader must learn to overcome. Yes, a group project is a collective effort of every group member contributing their fair share, though the typical point is to encourage the collaboration of varied ideas to form a unique whole. With this being said, it is equally as important to work collaboratively on one singular task as it is to complete different tasks individually and put it together to form a whole. Both these methods will produce unique work, though, work that is collaboratively done rather than in individual roles will cultivate unified work, which is ultimately the accomplishment that is seeking achievement. “Delegation is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of a strong leader,” Genevieve Conti explains in her blog post, “A guide to delegating tasks effectively.” In her post, she outlines some of the most evident reasons as to why people tend not to delegate tasks:
For delegation to be effective, a leader must be courteous to their team, checking in with them to ensure that the method of delegation is well implemented and functioning, “[It is important to remember that]....[d]elegation does not mean dumping responsibility on another person. It is not offloading things that you don’t feel like doing. It is also not seeking help to finish things at the last minute.” I have learned to use this skill not only in school but with my organization, Sports For Smiles, as well. At the beginning of last year, I was spending hours and hours on attempting to get my project off the ground, though I was not getting as much as out of it as I was putting in to it, and it was not soaring at the rate that I had thought it would. I was swamped with school, work, sports, and other commitments; I was not able to religiously dedicate the entire weekend, per say, to working on the project. At that point, I was not being an effective leader. I was simply overworking myself because I thought that I could get everything done myself. That is when I approached my team and began sorting out ways to split tasks so that every member was each contributing an equal amount. I began DELEGATING tasks with my discretion of who would be the best for a specific task, and based on preferences of the members. Not only did this lower my stress level in a management position, but it also helped my organization soar to new heights. We achieved more in six months than I did in a year on my own! For perfectionists, like me :), it is often times difficult to leave things in the hands of others as it may not be done to your “desiring quality.” This is understandable, however it is important to be compatible and flexible when in a leadership position. For those whom are studious, treat this skill as your “cheat sheet” for success in academics. Those whom are sporty, delegation can be your tactic to success in a game; you cannot dribble from your end all the way down the field, attempt to deke all eleven players out and not expect to lose the ball.
Great work is done with the collaboration of many diverse ideas, forming a whole that is superior. Janeva S Do you ever wonder why people don’t respect you as a leader? Do you ever notice them not being motivated to help out your team at all? Chances are you don’t notice these things because you have your head in the clouds and you’re too busy on your power trip to take into account anyone else’s feelings. Hi I’m Connor Nelson and welcome to my Ted Talk. Today I’m going to be attempting to teach you how to not be an arrogant piece of shit, so if you can please put your ego aside and listen to these tips. At one moment in everyone’s lives, they get a little (a lot) carried away when in a leadership position and actually end up distancing themselves from a lot of their peers due to being under the dangerous influence of power. So if you have never been in this position, been called out for being in this position OR are in this position right now, then you’re in luck because I will be giving you some tips to help lessen your giant air-head and help you come back to earth. After reading the 13 habits of humble people by Jeff Boss, I definitely learned a few things that can better everyone as a leader no matter what level you are. Leaders with humility can easily retain relationships with others rather than annoying them away, take into account everyone’s thoughts and opinions instead of listening to no one and just doing what they want, and they are never too proud to ask for help! Something I notice a lot is that when someone who has a big head is in a power position, nobody has fun and the “leader” ends up just doing whatever they please and push everyone away because nobody wants to be around them. The simplest things can really make the biggest difference, such as taking the time to remember your manners! Remember those? As well, you have to have a level mentality, meaning you can’t go into a task as a leader thinking you’re above everybody and that they’re all here to serve you, that’s not leadership. Leadership is working together as one whole unit to complete a task as a team, not as the leader and then everyone else. Everyone is equal and everyone should be treated the same, no one is more special or more disposable than the next person. Now there have been some instances in which my confidence is mistaken for arrogance, and it was hard for me to tell how I was coming off to others, so to help you out here are 7 Subtle Signs your Confidence might come off as Arrogance.
Connor N |
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