Conversation is inevitable. A conversation holds much more power than we think it does. As humans we yearn for human connection; interaction. An exchange of energy, where both are paying attention to one another. Here is where we begin to deepen the moment, inspire change and build trust. I have had many eye opening events happen to me in the past few months. I will be sharing what techniques and thought processes that have led me with the mindset I have now.
The last couple months before hitting 2021 have been on the crazier side. For all this to make sense I will have to start at the benign, of late September. My dad was faced with many losses on his extended side of the family. With my grandparents being ill, he consciously made the decision to go see them. Within just a week of my fathers arrival, my grandfather passed away. In Albania, when there is a death there are gatherings. With covid lurking in the corner, it was just a matter of time. After about a week and a half after, my father and most of the imitated family got covid. Leading to my grandmother's death in mid November. Unfortunately my uncle was unable to be there. It was hard to see him lose his parents and not be able to grieve properly. I often went to my uncle's house to make sure he was doing good, but i was told not to talk about what was going on. Searching for a way to grief with the loss was only possible when my dad got back. It is very important to mourn the losses of loved ones. During this time, I was working mercilessly. Working six to seven days a week, working the next days of my grandparents death. When living far away from family and not having them in your daily life, it's easier to forget. When my dad first got back he was an absolute mess, emotionally and menatally. It's hard for anyone to lose their parents. My father and I sat down and he was telling me the conversations that he had with his father and mother. He explained to me how they passed, showed me the funerals and explained everything. Hearing about how my grandmother passed was very upsetting. Seeing how truly painful and uncomfortable she was is devastating. My father explained to me how it was much easier to grieve for his father than his mother. The reason being, he was able to have conversations, share his thoughts and feelings with many people. He heard new stories about his father that he hadn't heard before and they were able to talk about the situation. I had let go of my “obligations” and took a step back to figure out what I wanted for my life. By taking a moment to reflect on time, conversations, myself and others. What really helped me doing that, was finding a space that was isolated and that was enjoyable. Somewhere I felt comfortable and expressed any emotion freely. I also found myself using techniques that Mr Hortness discusses in the class. I think it is very important to take advantage of the lessons that are taught in this course. Especially the lessons that help with self improvement. But also how to take the lesson and tweak them to work better for you. One technique I used was the gratitude journal. However, I didn't necessarily write them down, it was more menatlly. It is the single most powerful source of inspiration that any person can tap into. Another one that I found useful, was surrounding yourself with things that keep you inspired and change your mindset, “choose what to consume.” As humans, we can be brainwashed with everything we consume. It changes our perspective, our mindset and the way we live the rest of our lives. I took the time and extracted those that I compared myself, who were not adding value to my life. As much as possible I started consuming content and following people that would most help me fulfill my purpose. The things we consume we think about and eventually we become. My mother was taking care of our close family friend that we have known for the past 20 years. She was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and she was unable to care for herself when her symptoms got worse. And snice one of the obligations that I had let go was my job. I assisted my mom and helped her with all that needed to be done. This included, grocery shopping, talking to pharmacists and doctors, and dealing with whatever problems arose. My mom would go five times a day to make sure she was taking her pills and would cook and clean for her. She has since passed, and with no family close by, we have been left dealing with her affairs, and trying to figure things out as they go. Finding myself in adult conversations and running around like a headless chicken. My mother and I were in a game of catch up. I would go from packing things in boxes to showing potential buyers the house, consulting with lawyers, and meeting all of the people that were close with her in the community. The only way I was able to succeed with these tasks was because I had a beginners mindset. When facing new challenges with a beginners mindset, you need to be able to put embassament aside and not focus on that feeling. And be comfortable with conversation. Many of the conversations I was having at this time were with the elderly. As most of them have lived out the majority of their lives, and me just begging to start mine. I headed into these conversations with a beginners mindset. Having an attitude of open mindedness and eagerness to learn, I asked questions. Started gaining insight and listening to people's past. Encouraging to share more and more with me. Let me tell you something you already know. The world is not all sunshine and rainbows, it's a mean nasty place. Nobody hits as hard as life.There are moments where you're going to doubt yourself. There are rough times that are going to come, but they have not come to stay, they have come to pass. It's important to know that. It's about how much you can take and keep moving forward. Gotta be willing to take da hits. I learnt that the past and future don't exist, they are not real. Your past is just your memory, and your future is just your imagination, it's only real in your mind. The only real moment is the present. But since then we've been taught to look at life as past, present and future. Many are missing the one moment that truly exists. We need to eliminate the past and get rid of the future and “be here now or otherwise you'll miss your life.” -Buddha https://thedashpoem.com/the-dash-poem-printable/ Albuna M
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As human beings, we strive for the feeling of comfortability. We often choose the safe, predictable road over the unknown… why is that? It's because uncertainty causes stress. Even though remaining in your comfort zone can be a good thing, it can also prevent you from further developping as a human being. According to goal cast, “The primary ingredient for a happy life very well may be progress, as recent positive psychology studies have pointed towards. Shawn Achor, positive psychologist and author of The Happiness Advantage, refers to happiness as “the joy you feel moving towards your potential.” Although I am an outgoing, talkative person, I often find it nerve wracking to speak in front of a large number of people. I decided to face that fear, and overcome it through my school’s leadership program, where I became a Youth Leader. I also decided to join student council, interact club and also took debate. Becoming a senior leader in my school was very important to me because I wanted to be able to provide guidance and support for my fellow peers. I enjoy this because it has enabled me to expand my delegation and leadership skills. Here are 10 Ways to Overcome Fear and Break Out of Your Comfort Zone according to Success 1. Take nothing for granted. 2. Switch up your routine. 3. Move toward your fears. 4. Give up control. 5. Try something new until you feel comfortable. 6. Ask the questions other people don’t like to. 7. Start conversations with strangers. 8. Agree to something you wouldn’t normally consider. 9. Get in front of the camera. 10. Keep a list of growth goals. I was forced to step outside of my comfort zone and exhibit confidence while directing a large number of people. My tasks were often to manage large groups of people and work collaboratively with my fellow leaders, and share ideas without the fear of judgment. This experience helped me grow, and now as a senior leader I am able to effortlessly guide and delegate tasks to my peers without hesitation. While I was once afraid of sounding bossy, I now realized that to be a successful and confident leader, one has to possess and exhibit strong initiative, and to lead through example. Through this, I was able to learn to find new confidence, which has positively impacted my school work and presentations as well, as I am able to get my point across in a quick and meaningful way. By improving my communication skills, I will continue to demonstrate integrity and be a successful leader.
Moral of the story, stepping outside of your comfort zone can be a very difficult, tedious process but once you finally do, you won't believe how many opportunities there are waiting for you. Check out https://www.goalcast.com/2017/08/22/comfort-zone-killing-you-how-to-beat-it/ for some for information on why you should step outside of your comfort zone. Nyah G |
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