About 3 months ago I endured a rather traumatic breakup that did and still does affect me everyday. No, it wasn't my own breakup. My older brother Jack decided to break up with his girlfriend, Mihaela, after almost 4 years of dating with only one break in the middle of their relationship. To this this day she is the most caring, hard working and selfless person I have ever met, so it’s not hard to see why over the years she became my best friend and still is. Mihaela is a year older that Jack so she graduated a few years ago. The day she graduated was the same day that her parents and 2 sisters moved to the island without her. She was starting at SFU that fall but had nowhere to live for the entire summer so she came to live with us. For the next 3 years she lived with us on and off and the longest I wouldn't see her was about a week, but usually she would be over every couple of days. After the break up I didn't see her for over 3 months, and the first month I really didn’t respond well. I was in a constant depressed state, didn’t want to do anything, and my relationship with Jack was damaged because I blamed him for the whole ordeal. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up but I really wanted to talk about it because things became awkward and I knew that Jack wanted to talk about it as well. I decided to look up how to bring up tough conversations and I came across this blog that I used for help because I really didn’t want to mess up my relationship with my brother. So one night when the opportunity presented itself, we ended up having a long and really nice conversation- one of the best and most impactful conversations I can remember ever having with him. I realised that this conversation was needed and the end result was better than I expected, we’re a lot closer and I can now get to know Jack’s new girlfriend without feeling guilty or mad. “Real talk” will come up in everybody's lives multiple times for different reasons, so it’s better to be prepared than to not know what the hell to do. “Fake it till you make it” won’t always work, especially when it involves important relationships. When one of these inevitable conversations comes up, here are some tips to help you through it:
In the end, you can’t control the other person’s behavior and how they’re going to act but you can control yourself and hopefully improve the situation by considering what you want to do. Ultimately, if this person is really important to you, like how my brother is to me, you don't want to lose them in any way so having these conversations are necessary. Not addressing a situation can get really awkward and end badly, so might as well keep it real and talk about it. Georgia F
9 Comments
emily
6/11/2019 10:40:19 am
thank you for sharing about this experience! wow it is so nice to hear of such a wonderful relationship you had with your brothers girlfriend! i hope that i may one day have that sort of friendship with my boyfriend's family as well! thank you for the tips that you gave to help someone going through something like this!
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Janeva
6/11/2019 10:41:06 am
This is a very thoroughly written blog! I feel like people can easily bottle up their emotions in such situations; this is how people rage. Thanks for the tips!
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Martin
6/11/2019 10:47:14 am
Great blog, I really think communication can solve most of the problems in a relationship, it's a common sense for most people but alot of is still trys to avoid communicating which only lead the problem worst.
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Kai
6/11/2019 10:47:57 am
Thoughtful blog Georgia. Sometimes I even feel uncomfortable with someone who has an close relationship. At that time, I think it is the key to come back to relation that face the problem and to do a "real talk" without being daunted or fleeing.
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Hayley
6/11/2019 10:51:20 am
i like that you used your story in the blog post and showed us what to do when we have to have one of the those conversations that you kind of have to have but don't want to all at the same time. i think you dealt with it really well and the advice you gave is great advice. Thank you for sharing.
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Martin Gao
6/11/2019 11:08:17 am
Great blog, I knew a lot of couples who break up due to lack of communication. I really think communicating can solve many problems and people should stop avoiding real talk.
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Madi
9/12/2019 11:21:32 am
Awesome blog. My brother and his girlfriend broke up and I was so sad. Thank u for showing I’m not the only one
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Maya
9/12/2019 11:22:10 am
Wow this blog was very deep and full of emotions. I enjoyed it because it makes you realize how important communication is, not only in a relationship but throughout your life.
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Kaelen
9/12/2019 11:23:21 am
This is really a very frustrating experience, I can feel that you cherish your friendship with your brother and girlfriend. Thank you for sharing your experience with us!
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