When I was young I had a pretty bad experience in my early elementary years. First day of Kindergarten I made my first friend at school, and that’s the beginning of everything, my earliest memories of school. She was a girl in my class, who would severely bully me. She wouldn’t let me speak to other people and if I did she would scream and swear in my face. She would say really terrible things about my family that I probably should not repeat, my mom even called her a stalker. It got so bad to the point where at the age of 8 I would have panic attacks every morning before school. Back then I was really young and I didn’t know how to stand up for myself so I would just let it happen. This went on for 5 years (K-5). After that experience I had not really had a bad friend until grade 10, I became friends with this one boy, I am just going to call him Carter. Carter and I became close very quickly to the point that we would talk everyday, all day and he knew every little detail about me. He was my biggest supporter especially when I went through my first heartbreak, he always managed to cheer me up and boost my confidence. He was always there for me to talk about anything. It honestly was great for a while, I even became close with his other friends and he became close with some of mine and we were a big friend group. We all went out together many times to different places, hung out at eachothers houses and it was super fun honestly. Unfortunately that didn’t last for long, Carter started to change. His ego grew very large to the point it was insufferable to be around. He also started to put us girls down so much and so often, for example “as a joke” he would literally tell me to kill myself so frequent that it would make me cry every night. He would make comments on my appearance, my interests, my personality. It was quite damaging to my self esteem, especially for a friend to say that everyday. He overall just acted like him and the other boys were just more important and above us girls and it really pissed me off. The other boys too would just sit there and do nothing to help us. They knew what was going on but they would just support Carter. When I started dating my boyfriend, I was still friends with them and they genuinely bullied him, calling him physically abusive to his face (which was a lie they literally just made up), making fun of the way he looks, calling him mean nicknames. To the point it made me so angry I hung out with them less, it mainly really was just Carter that was the meanest but they all supported him as usual. They all just worshiped him like he was this god or something and then all the boys just ghosted all the girls. I must say I do miss Carter from time to time but without him in my life it was as if this huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Soon after that they found some new editions to their friend group and what other people would tell me is that they told their new friends that we girls did something so unforgivable and so awful to the point that they couldn’t be around us anymore. The thing is though, he never said why, never said what we allegedly did. Those boys are still friends currently, they will laugh at me on the bus, give me death stares in the halls, two of them even sent me a lovely candy cane gram saying “I miss you” on it:) and they all just refuse to talk to make amends, it's just silence. The worst thing though, one of the boys did something so gross and everyone knew it was wrong and they still supported him, said gross things about women in support of him and just made me lose any tiny amount of respect I had left. To some, this may all just be petty drama, which it is but honestly it has taught me so much about the kind of people I choose to be around, before I would let people walk all over me and I would give chance after chance until it would completely drain me. Even if you have been friends with someone for a while isn’t a good enough reason to stay their friend if they treat you badly. No one deserves to be treated badly by a friend or a significant other especially if all you did was care for them. I have learned from my mistakes and I hope in the future I will not encounter something like that again.
Sarah.S
13 Comments
Alanna
3/1/2024 01:45:31 pm
I have to say that it is so brave of you to open up about things like this and I am so sorry you've had to go through all this. I think everything is really well said and I appreciate your vulnerability.
Reply
Melina
3/1/2024 01:45:43 pm
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. I also think it’s really important as who we are friends to as they could influence us in good and bad ways.
Reply
Em
3/1/2024 01:47:31 pm
Thank you for sharing this story with us. I think a lot of us struggle with having heathy relationships, especially today. I have gone through similar things and it isn't easy, I'm happy you know your better off without "Carter" and it is more than ok to morn the loss of someone you use to know. <3
Reply
Rosetta
3/1/2024 01:48:01 pm
I can relate to what you experienced in elementary school. I also had a friend who would bully me everyday and I just let her do it because I didn't know how to stand up for myself. Thank you for sharing.
Reply
Jane
3/1/2024 01:51:14 pm
Thank you so much for sharing this. In the past I have also had really bad experiences with people I considered my friends. You are a wonderful person and I really hope you find other wonderful people who will treat you right <3
Reply
Janvi
3/1/2024 01:51:21 pm
First of all, thank you for sharing these experiences with us because I wouldn’t be able to. The idea of someone that trust and tell everything too saying things that truthfully would be devastating.
Reply
Laetitia
3/1/2024 01:52:56 pm
Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to your story as I also have experience with bad "friends" in elementary school. It can be hard to leave them but even though it hurts it is the right decision.
Reply
Taylor
3/1/2024 01:52:56 pm
thank you for sharing this, this is a very scary and sad story. I'm glad you could open up about it, and get it all off your chest
Reply
Lianne
3/1/2024 01:55:59 pm
I’m sorry for all that drama and heartache. It must have been hard for you to separate yourself from somebody whom you used to talk to almost everyday, especially if they’ve essentially become a part of your daily routine. As they say, your friends are often a reflection of who you are, and so I’m proud of you for separating yourself from them, and not letting yourself be the victim of their harassment.
Reply
Merle
3/1/2024 01:58:43 pm
I'm sorry that you have been through this terrible experience and I hope you found better people around you who treat you like you deserve it. Finding good people to be friends with can sometimes be really hard. Thanks for sharing!
Reply
Sunsia
3/1/2024 02:01:04 pm
Im so sorry this happened to you and i just wanted to say that you are very brave for speaking up about this. Nothing was your fault its genuinely disgusting of them to treat you this way. The fact that they abused ur kindness and trust of a friendship is very sad. Hell is very hot and its waiting for them.
Reply
Brody
3/1/2024 02:06:20 pm
Thank you for sharing such a personal experience, I believe it is important for all of us to realize we don't have to spend time with people who don't treat us well.
Reply
Jaden
3/1/2024 02:13:25 pm
It must have been challenging to share your story and thank you for share the story. Almost everyone goes through terrible relationships and struggle from it. But what I want to say is if you don't decide to give up on yourself to fight those problems, I believe those hardships make the person become a better 'friend' of others.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Categories
|