Conversation is inevitable. A conversation holds much more power than we think it does. As humans we yearn for human connection; interaction. An exchange of energy, where both are paying attention to one another. Here is where we begin to deepen the moment, inspire change and build trust. I have had many eye opening events happen to me in the past few months. I will be sharing what techniques and thought processes that have led me with the mindset I have now.
The last couple months before hitting 2021 have been on the crazier side. For all this to make sense I will have to start at the benign, of late September. My dad was faced with many losses on his extended side of the family. With my grandparents being ill, he consciously made the decision to go see them. Within just a week of my fathers arrival, my grandfather passed away. In Albania, when there is a death there are gatherings. With covid lurking in the corner, it was just a matter of time. After about a week and a half after, my father and most of the imitated family got covid. Leading to my grandmother's death in mid November. Unfortunately my uncle was unable to be there. It was hard to see him lose his parents and not be able to grieve properly. I often went to my uncle's house to make sure he was doing good, but i was told not to talk about what was going on. Searching for a way to grief with the loss was only possible when my dad got back. It is very important to mourn the losses of loved ones. During this time, I was working mercilessly. Working six to seven days a week, working the next days of my grandparents death. When living far away from family and not having them in your daily life, it's easier to forget. When my dad first got back he was an absolute mess, emotionally and menatally. It's hard for anyone to lose their parents. My father and I sat down and he was telling me the conversations that he had with his father and mother. He explained to me how they passed, showed me the funerals and explained everything. Hearing about how my grandmother passed was very upsetting. Seeing how truly painful and uncomfortable she was is devastating. My father explained to me how it was much easier to grieve for his father than his mother. The reason being, he was able to have conversations, share his thoughts and feelings with many people. He heard new stories about his father that he hadn't heard before and they were able to talk about the situation. I had let go of my “obligations” and took a step back to figure out what I wanted for my life. By taking a moment to reflect on time, conversations, myself and others. What really helped me doing that, was finding a space that was isolated and that was enjoyable. Somewhere I felt comfortable and expressed any emotion freely. I also found myself using techniques that Mr Hortness discusses in the class. I think it is very important to take advantage of the lessons that are taught in this course. Especially the lessons that help with self improvement. But also how to take the lesson and tweak them to work better for you. One technique I used was the gratitude journal. However, I didn't necessarily write them down, it was more menatlly. It is the single most powerful source of inspiration that any person can tap into. Another one that I found useful, was surrounding yourself with things that keep you inspired and change your mindset, “choose what to consume.” As humans, we can be brainwashed with everything we consume. It changes our perspective, our mindset and the way we live the rest of our lives. I took the time and extracted those that I compared myself, who were not adding value to my life. As much as possible I started consuming content and following people that would most help me fulfill my purpose. The things we consume we think about and eventually we become. My mother was taking care of our close family friend that we have known for the past 20 years. She was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and she was unable to care for herself when her symptoms got worse. And snice one of the obligations that I had let go was my job. I assisted my mom and helped her with all that needed to be done. This included, grocery shopping, talking to pharmacists and doctors, and dealing with whatever problems arose. My mom would go five times a day to make sure she was taking her pills and would cook and clean for her. She has since passed, and with no family close by, we have been left dealing with her affairs, and trying to figure things out as they go. Finding myself in adult conversations and running around like a headless chicken. My mother and I were in a game of catch up. I would go from packing things in boxes to showing potential buyers the house, consulting with lawyers, and meeting all of the people that were close with her in the community. The only way I was able to succeed with these tasks was because I had a beginners mindset. When facing new challenges with a beginners mindset, you need to be able to put embassament aside and not focus on that feeling. And be comfortable with conversation. Many of the conversations I was having at this time were with the elderly. As most of them have lived out the majority of their lives, and me just begging to start mine. I headed into these conversations with a beginners mindset. Having an attitude of open mindedness and eagerness to learn, I asked questions. Started gaining insight and listening to people's past. Encouraging to share more and more with me. Let me tell you something you already know. The world is not all sunshine and rainbows, it's a mean nasty place. Nobody hits as hard as life.There are moments where you're going to doubt yourself. There are rough times that are going to come, but they have not come to stay, they have come to pass. It's important to know that. It's about how much you can take and keep moving forward. Gotta be willing to take da hits. I learnt that the past and future don't exist, they are not real. Your past is just your memory, and your future is just your imagination, it's only real in your mind. The only real moment is the present. But since then we've been taught to look at life as past, present and future. Many are missing the one moment that truly exists. We need to eliminate the past and get rid of the future and “be here now or otherwise you'll miss your life.” -Buddha https://thedashpoem.com/the-dash-poem-printable/ Albuna M
16 Comments
Nyah Gentry
3/8/2021 10:06:01 am
Working as a leader of customer service in a grocery store I loved my job because I was able to have diverse conversations with a numerous amount of people. Every conversation I had with someone I learned something new and that is why I love being such a talkative outgoing person because you never know what you may learn from the people around you.
Reply
Kaelen
3/8/2021 12:40:43 pm
The most important thing in getting along with people is communication. The essence of communication is the exchange of emotions and thoughts. Many conversations in our lives use words to understand the thoughts behind the words. People need to communicate with others to ease their emotions when they are experiencing pain. Communicate with people to find direction when confused.
Reply
Tyler
3/8/2021 08:56:34 pm
I am so sorry to hear about what you had to go through, it's hard especially with covid being here and nit being able to see the people you may need the most right now. But thank you for sharing this and giving us another way to see things when life is sucking. You having that mindset or learning to take in that mindset is something we should all take in because that is the only way we will get through life because we obviously still want to enjoy things but things do get difficult. By surrounding yourself with the right people and actually applying things that you have learned we are able to change our mindsets so that we can be positive and almost feel more freely. I really enjoyed this blog because I struggled through things during covid and saw a few people who passed and seeing this just helps, like to change my mindset.
Reply
Kiana Birk
3/8/2021 09:49:40 pm
Thank you so much for opening up! I am proud that through it all you have managed to come out with a new perspective. It takes great courage to speak upon things so close and personal to us. I can agree when you mentioned how important it is to surround ourselves with things that inspire us. I now take into consideration more than ever what I choose to surround myself with. I want to be near positive energy and things that make me happy and uplift my mood. This is a very valuable lesson that I never thought would make such a great impact. I also liked how you mentioned how important it is to just be present. Our brain can make us focus on details of the past and future and not allow us to just enjoy the present. I have learned that sometimes you have to let that go, and just focus on the now.
Reply
Caiti
3/8/2021 11:41:37 pm
Wow that was really powerful. I feel like you are at least twice as wise and experienced as me and I could learn a lot from you. The excerpt that resonated with me most was definitely “there are rough times that are going to come, but they have not come to stay, they have come to pass” that is such an important mindset to have especially when dealing with challenges. Thank you for sharing about your losses as well as the challenges of helping others grieve. I sincerely hope you are doing well and reminding you that even if you aren’t that’s okay too.
Reply
Kaysey
3/9/2021 12:32:21 am
Wow. That was so heartfelt and really touching to read. Firstly, I wanted to say my condolences for your mother and grandparents. Second, thank you for sharing that such personal information, I think it was very courageous and inspiring :)Sounds like you have been through it recently and covid probably was not helpful. "rough times are going to come, but not to stay, they come to pass". I love that quote. It reminds me of one that I've heard that goes "When you feel like you are going through hell, keep going, because why would you stop in hell". Especially tough times such as grieving, I believe conversations are important for the healing process to happen. As someone who experienced the death of a family member as a child, I can look back and say that if I had talked to someone about the reality of the situation, maybe I would face challenges and emotional stress differently now. I think a lot of adults filter the harsh truth/ reality from children because its too much to handle or not something to be talked about. And this applies to not just grief, but topics such as sexuality, race, gender identity, disabilities, etc. I think people treat those topics as a "hush hush" thing which rally does nothing but limits one knowledge. But conversations hold sooo much power and you mentioned lots of great points in your blog. Not only does conversation encourage learning, but it welcomes curiosity. I feel like these days, conversations are so limited because it's perceived more as confrontation when you approach it with a serious topic. But like you said, going into a conversation with a "beginners mind" and putting the fear of embarrassment aside, you are faced with a whole new perspective that allows you to learn and grow. Your blog was very insightful thank you.
Reply
Kaya
3/10/2021 12:13:54 pm
The first thing I would like to say is that I am so sorry for your losses. I can’t even imagine how that must have been for you, especially during the Covid situation. After reading your blog, it really puts things into perspective. It’s shows how these lessons we do in LAPD class, might seem boring now, but can really be an insight in your life. I can totally agree that life is not all sunshine and rainbows, but it can give a person perspective and can give you an insight on how life really is in the world.
Reply
Madison
3/10/2021 03:03:37 pm
Before anything, I am very sorry for all of the loss you and your family have gone through this year, and thank you for sharing a personal story it can be a hard thing to do. I definitely feel that conversations and peoples stories are a powerful thing in more ways than one. Conversations do help you connect with the people around you and can help to get to know others' stories and experiences. Some are hard to have, especially ones like you experienced, and having a good outlook on it all (like you said a beginners mindset) is a great approach to go through it. I completely understand the difficulty of losing many loved ones this year and not being able to have any memorials, or similar, due to covid. Talking about them is definitely hard, but these kinds of conversations are necessary. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and about having a beginner's mindset; this will definitely make having these conversations a little bit easier.
Reply
Jerry
3/10/2021 11:14:57 pm
Before I start comment, I'm just so sorry to hear your losses. We are definitely experiencing a tough period that a lot of previous generations have ever seen. Covid brings away a lot of lives and made me realize that how short and vulnerable life is. Your blog motivates me a lot and I'm sure that we will get through this in the no longer future.
Reply
amelie g
3/11/2021 12:02:48 am
My condolence's for your mother and grandparents.
Reply
nevada
3/11/2021 08:00:36 am
Hey Albuna. First of all, I'm really sorry for your losses. I've lost a grandparent a few years ago and I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must have been for you. I just want to thank you, not only for sharing your story, that could not have been easy, but for that last paragraph. The last paragraph you wrote deeply moved me. I actually took out a pen and paper and wrote down my favourite quotes. So inspiring. I absolutely loved how you talked about a beginner's mindset, where you ask questions and learn from other people. Having that eagerness and that drive is going to take you places in life. I sincerely believe that. You also mentioned how surrounding yourself with things that inspire you is a really great way to change your mindset. I decided going into this year that I wanted no negativity or drama, as those are things I don't particularly enjoy. I ended up losing one of my best friends since grade eight over this. It was really hard for me, as I felt that I was losing all of our shared friends before I moved on, remembering why I did it. The point of that story is that I too, am living proof that surrounding yourself with things that inspire you will change your mindset and have SUCH a positive impact on your life. Thank you again for sharing, good luck with everything going on, and I believe that you will come out of this stronger and just fine. You have potential to do great things in life with that attitude. It may not mean much coming from me but I think if everyone can have a bit of that attitude and spirit, it would be for the better.
Reply
Jenna
3/11/2021 09:32:19 am
Losing people so close to you is the most confusing and upsetting challenge I’ve had to go through. You never even think about the day where that person won’t be there to ask you how your day was, they won’t be there at your family dinner, but you have all of these memories of them that are so important to remember and look back on. I went through a time very similar to this, I lost 4 extended family members within one year and two of them were my grandparents who were a huge part in my life. I really respect that you are able to separate what is not good in changing your mindset and perspective from the positive feedback. I will definitely try to focus on that next time I am in a situation like this.
Reply
Austin
3/11/2021 10:57:36 am
Thank you for this blog, no one ever knows what’s going on in someone else’s life. And it is true a conversation can do so much it can brighten someone’s day just by a simple 2 minute conversation.
Reply
callie
3/11/2021 11:21:30 am
Thank you so much for sharing! This was really moving to read and I'm so sorry for your losses, I can't fathom having to deal with that. I really appreciate the sentiment and message of this blog and found the insight and topic of conversation really important.
Reply
Devon
3/11/2021 01:33:14 pm
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your losses. The mindset and outlook you have on life is very admirable. There are many aspects of what you have shared that I will continue to reflect on. I really liked how you added "your past is just your memory, and your future is just your imagination". I find that too often we focus too much on our past actions and dread the future and this stops us from living in the moment. I also really liked hearing about your beginners mindset, its a very positive way to navigate new and unfamiliar situations.This is how I would like to start approaching new situations in my life.
Reply
rylyn
9/16/2022 02:06:54 pm
i appreciate you sharing such personal experiences on this blog. its nice too see that people can have such an open mindset and really change there thinking. sorry for your losses.
Reply
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply. |
Categories
|