Do you sometimes feel insecure? I believe many people have such experience: After chatting with someone you like, or after communicating with your big boss, people often regret what they said wrong, and which behavior is somewhat stumbling. In fact, these are the manifestations of psychological anxiety. Many people are eager to deny themselves, instead of objectively analyzing the facts, they immersing themselves in self-blame, and suffering in their feelings. In fact, the other people may not have noticed which sentence you missed or which action did not perform well. This is not a bad thing, and many people share these issues with us. We just need to find a solution to the problem. The family environment played a crucial role in the character-building phase of a child's childhood. Why do I say that? Like many parents who do nothing by themselves, but they blame their children for not learning, not working hard. Many people around me encounter pressure and problems at work, at love, or even in family relationships. First of all, they do not analyze the problem objectively, but instead suspicion and denial of themselves, they fall into self-blame and chagrin. If people fall into failure they end up without confident, than they fail again, and even less self-confident. This will become an endless loop. A Primer in Positive Psychology, written by American psychologist Christopher Peterson, puts forward many good psychological adjustment methods, simply summarizing translations: when we make mistakes and blame others; At the time of regret, many of us first felt that we were having problems. After we began to blame ourselves we also blamed others and complained. The end result is that the problem has not been solved, but on the contrary, it becomes very painful. The method of analyzing problems in "Positive Psychology" is: firstly analyze why it happened. Is this bad thing mainly due to environmental factors? Or because of their own factors? Through the objective relationship, we can solve the problem very well. In many cases, it may not be our personal reason, because some objective factors and other people's influence cannot be controlled by us. Many people often do not consider these issues and do not pursue other people's responsibilities. Instead, they are accustomed to seeking problems from themselves, and often fall into self- reproach and humiliation. The no sense of security can be explained that you fear that what you care about will be out of your control. Many people are accompanied by some anxiety and worry but these can be relieved through self-regulation. The potential dangers in everyday situations and the tendency to evade certain activities. The more worried you are, the stronger the desire for control. There is a psychology called “deprivation of the super mechanism” for the explanation of the causes of control. Once you have a "deprived of control over the one thing you care about, you lose
it," the more insecure your heart becomes, the stronger your desire for control becomes. This is why many people also have a strong desire for control in a relationship, mainly because they are afraid of losing and being afraid to stay away. It is not difficult to solve them, except for the methods mentioned at the beginning. There is also other different ways that help with it. Find more way of creating emotional safety in relationships: http://www.livingwellcounselling.ca/creating-emotional-safety-in- relationships/ When we encounter problems, we must first go and relieve our emotions. When we are in pain, we must refrain from refusing ourselves. We must first analyze the situation and try to understand our emotions, then we must regulate them. Over time, you will feel safe. Finally, a small tip When there is no sense of security in love, you just need to calm done, and do something that makes you happy. Life is short, if someone do not like you, you will always figure out. Jennifer C
6 Comments
Connor
6/14/2018 10:38:59 am
I really like how she related these aspects into different parts of our lives, like the workplace, or in a relationship
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Emma
6/14/2018 10:43:19 am
This is a really good blog! It's a really interesting topic that I don't normally think about. Emotional safety is something that applies to everyone and insecurity is something everyone experiences. Thank you!!!
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matthew
6/14/2018 10:44:52 am
the effort you put into making this great blog is so evident, thank you. the concept that you mentioned called “deprivation of the super mechanism” is really cool and i fell that many such as myself cab relate to that feeling of needing control. great blog 10/10
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sophia ross
6/14/2018 10:59:05 am
some people are toxic in your life lifes too short and you ned to cut those people out of you rlife. if you are unhappy change your daily routine. everything can be fixed if you take care of yourself before ohter people.
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Ella McMillan
6/14/2018 11:00:24 am
Great blog Jennifer! I feel like we all can over analyze things especially when you feel like things went badly. Great points and will use in future situations when I am over thinking!
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Latham Antonissen
6/14/2018 11:12:10 am
Very well done. This blog will definitely help me understand myself and my emotions more.
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