The whole anxiety thing is something i have struggled with for a while now. I didn't even ever know what somatization was till i experienced it for myself head on. About a year and a half ago i first experienced somatization for the first time waking up feeling paralyzed from the waist down was something that was quite alarming for me and my parents. Who would have thought that not talking about what was going on in my life and struggling to find balance could have resulted in this. Somatization is when the production of recurrent and multiple medical symptoms with no describable organic cause. Somatization basic symptoms are: -nausea -abdominal pain -fatigue -headaches Conversion disorder ( more severe and sudden onset of debilitating symptoms) -paralysis -blindness -numbness -loss of speech -deafness Children's hospital was nothing new to me unfortunately for most of my grade 10 and 11 year i was in and out that counts for a lot of hospital apple juice and the best ice chips down the hall from my room. The thing is what can you do this was the hardest part physiotherapy and cognitive behavior therapy could only do so much. While my stay i learned about a program called music heals every day i would just wait till it hit four o'clock so i could go hang out with the music therapist that helped me overcome my problems through the love of music. This is also the charity emily and i are doing are service project on because i believe kids with somatization and any type of sickness should experience this for many reasons. The I of the Storm The difference between me and you is in my mind an artist is painting a picture So crazy and abstract that my arms, legs, feet and toes are beginning to convey the concept in the wrong way as if two artists are in a grand battle, fiending to paint the next Mona Lisa Since other people can not see or touch anxiety They believe it to be unrealistic You battle your fears, hopes and dreams in a constant 24/7 cycle and mix that with everyday life it is like a town Getting hit by the raging wave of a tsunami and expecting it to leave it dry And sometimes you get stuck in the impact zone and it tosses and turns you until you can’t breathe, gasping for air but eventually you will have to ride the wave again until you learn how to cope with your own personal storm And I finally come up for air The waters are clear and still I have learned to duck under the impact zone Although the waves may still come I now know, not to surf in a tsunami The poem above may not look like much but this was definitely a huge step in the right direction for me. I was never really able to explain how i felt until this grade eleven English project when i could express myself through poetry. Anxiety has definitely helped shaped my life for the good and bad , but i am a strong believer in things happening for a reason and it has definitely made me see life in a different way.
Marika Lyszczyk
12 Comments
Jack
1/21/2019 10:41:36 am
Very well written and informative blog post. I have never experienced somatization personally but one of my friends has, sounds like a very scary thing. I appreciate you sharing your story especially cause of how personal it is.
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Matthew
1/21/2019 10:45:43 am
What a scary thing that must be, to wake up and find yourself unable to move. We should totally have a mandatory class that we need to take to learn about these things. I too havnt ever heard if this; its amazing that things in our head have such a physical impact on our body.
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Janeva
1/21/2019 10:49:20 am
Marika, your poem is soooo deep and inspirational! Your expression in words is beyond impacting to others! It so great that you've resorted to the arts to help you cope! It must have been difficult to bounce back - I am awful at managing my stress, though I feel that music does actually help reduce it overall!
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eric
1/21/2019 10:50:29 am
Sometimes things may seem really bad to you, but it happen for a reason. Always think on the positive side instead of the negative.
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Georgia
1/21/2019 10:58:16 am
I had never heard of somatization or experienced something like that before, must have been scary, I admire you for sharing a personal story. I really enjoyed your blog, it was educational and interesting to read. Love it Marika, keep it up!
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Kai
1/21/2019 11:02:39 am
Interesting topic... I never head about somatization before. It's actually makes me scary... I hope I won't be like that and I am pretty sure that we need to take a class and study about somatization. Good blog Marika! I like your Blog!
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vicky
1/28/2019 10:47:39 am
i have never heard about somatization either but it sounds really interesting to me! i think it is great that you trying to help other kids in your service project since you know exactly what it feels like! very well written and thank you for sharing :)
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Maya
9/12/2019 11:26:45 am
I am really happy that you found a way to help calm yourself through music. I think music is very powerful and can help manoeuvre us through tough situations and emotions.
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Abbey
10/6/2020 02:20:46 pm
Thank you so much for sharing! I have definitely had my fair share of anxiety and dealing with the physical symptoms that come with it. For me music also helped ease my anxiety, as well as spending time with close friends. I'm so glad that you were able to find a way to cope with your anxiety, and that you're doing better. Your blog was well written and informative, I did not know what somatization was before reading this, but I now have a better understanding.
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olivia
9/16/2022 02:00:04 pm
That must have been so scary to go through! Thank you for sharing your story, the peom is amazing!! :))
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olivia h
9/28/2023 02:04:15 pm
Very well written. That must have been absolutly terrifying going through something like this! i'm so glad you found a way to cope through the anxiety with music therapy and to express yourself through poettry. You are a very strong person, thank you for sharing!!
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Quinn
9/28/2023 02:14:52 pm
Thank you for being able to share this, that takes some guts. Ive briefly heard of somatization but didn't really know what it was it was eye opening. I can relate to some of it with the extreme symptoms of anxiety. The poem was beautiful and I'm glad youve found a way to cope.
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